I want her and John Oliver to be my real family.

She put her bare ass on the counter. This alone suffices as a “will not shop there” for me. Stores that let people park their bare butts (even ones that might be freshly steamed w/special organic butt-herbs) on the checkout belt are just--not nice.

Well, the Bee’s I understand, but did she somehow insult low-mid range priced restaurants too?

This is actually exactly how she should respond next time that deflated old sack of torn bagpipes she’s running against brings up her husband’s infidelities.

Seriously, when that asshole was going to bring up Clinton’s husband’s infidelities, all I wanted was for Clinton to say “take it away” and have Beyonce storm the stage and sing the entirety of Lemonade in his stupid face.

I mean sure, let’s hop right over his sexual assault and just focus on the word pussy. Because that’s really what’s got us all outraged here. People are saying pussy all the time now and it’s ruining America. Plus rap and hip hop you know? Dangerous.

See, I’m picturing this, but it’s Kate McKinnon as Hillary.

I wanna send the high-profile conservative pundits a dictionary with the definition for “consent” bookmarked.

We need to have a serious conversation about consent in this country, because too many people just don’t get it. And that is completely inexcusable.

The temptation to flood her timeline with Beyonce gifs is almost unbearable. As is the anticipation of when Giuliani’s hate-boner for Beyonce kicks in and he takes up these absurd talking points.

My poem to Billy Bush:

He bragged at a party that he had in his possession “a tape of Trump being a real dog.” These remarks prompted members of the Access Hollywood staff to locate it.

The number of people who seem to think that she’s been treated perfectly normally for a prisoner-and that how she’s been treated is absolutely how prisoners should be treated-is viscerally sickening.

Did he enter the country illegally??? I think he did. He should be deported.

FUCK OFF FARAGE

This isn’t a picture of Trump. Trump only wishes he had hair that good.

He looked like a big gorilla prowling the set

A bonus at the end of this clip is a woman reporter asking, as indeed we all are: “Sir, can I just ask: what are you doing here?”

Love the show anyway, but hearing “No Surprises” on the barroom player piano was especially exciting, considering I just saw Radiohead on Friday night. Is anyone out there keeping a list of the songs that play on that thing? Is it like a jukebox, where the guests get to pick the songs? If so, good to know that…