If I were God I would likely have ruined the garbage pit that is humanity.

You, too.

I could totally do that.

You are completely and totally incorrect.

I don’t understand how I am stretching your shirt or your shit.

It is not.

Thank you for your response. Sloths are now off of my list; they are useful and quite excellent at survival, so they may live.

I’m not putting any effort into any of this.

Satan would admit to being Satan.

I agree with you.

A 26 year old male who lives in Ohio.

Actually, everyone has taken issue with my position as global asshole.

That is disgusting.

That is debatable.

How about, like, all politicians?

Agreed.

Ahh, I see.

I don’t need any attention whatsoever.

I guess not.

Yeah I’m pretty sure that I could have said something like “All cars suck, all people who like cars suck” and I would have received less negative attention.