I thought of my crazy, southern grandmother too. I miss her.

"My grandmother has a funny thing about noses. If she sees a kid that she thinks is going to end up with a big nose, she'll go up and tell the mother to gently pinch the ends of it each night. It's mortifying but she does it all the time. I tell her it's pseudo-science and she counters back by telling me that she…

I don't know why the story made me think of this...

Where is the lady's leg?

I shit platinum glitter and strawberry Mentos. My poop is worth way more than they are paying.

It came from the backyard of one of her Palm Beach friends.

Sherri Shepherd's body is shaped like a tornado. I am suspicious of anyone who looks as if they can blow my house down.

Cher is my Spirit Aunt. I just know she is...

True story:

She sends them to Gwyneth Paltrow.

I love her! She is funny and pretty.

Police Officer: Was the suspect colored?

What Palin is saying:

I live for this show! It has fuckery down to an art form. I want Cookie at my house. This weekend. Cocktails and Crazy. Florida Style.

I am not a very tall woman. My hair on the other-hand thinks it is Manute Bol. Sometimes it won't listen to reason or take bribes or bow down to threats. It does what it does and doesn't give a fuck.

There are plenty of teens who can't read and they attend public schools.

I love Cookie! She is my Ghetto Bear Spirit Sister.

Ahem, that memo you asked about? If one is Christian it's called the Bible. And it is antigay in a number of places.

Sent it to: