Sorry, I don’t believe in radon.

Retirees with nothing better to do than to sit on the front porch and watch the goings-on in the neighborhood is pretty good, too.

Yea but don’t expect anything more than that.

We’re looking for a house right now and I told my wife I’d rather live in my car than buy a house in a neighborhood with an HOA.

We’ve got a millipede infestation somewhere around the house. Like, guarantee whatever room you walk into, there’s gonna be at least one of those fuckers. I sprayed all around the foundation a few weeks back and it cut down severely on them, but they’re starting to rebound.

Electrical problems. Potentially just as expensive as plumbing and water damage, potentially just as much repair work needing to be done to drywall/etc depending on how old your house is and how much shit has to be ripped out in order to run new wires), plus the added bonus that it can go off and burn your house down…

This.

I mean you’re not wrong about Jordan being great defensively, but you ARE wrong when you say no one ever brings that up.

“I am a supremely lazy man.”

Cool story, Davy Crockett.

Yes, no one EVER talks about Jordan’s defense. You are so right. He is definitely the most underappreciated athlete ever.

Truth. We just had our neighbors with the really nice kid my daughter hung out with move out and new people moved in. They have some crappy older gray minivan with bright red hubcaps, door handles, and a gas tank cover, and it has three bumper stickers:

Wow, that sounds like a really interesting architectural area. I am writing my dissertation on American homes of that era and would love to visit — what neighborhood is this?

Yup. And you can do nothing about them, ever. We had two feuding neighbors in our 5 unit condo. Cops were called frequently. Hubby tried to intervene and was challenged to a street-fight with a 50 year old woman (different neighbor) as a result. The police neighborhood liaison recommended we “Call Jesus into our…

“Eminent domain is when the state needs your land for Public Use.”

Ditto. The selling agent referred to one of my now-neighbors as “the governess.” The day we signed papers and got to moving things, she came over to yell at us about another neighbor who goes 25MPH down the street, saying it could be dangerous for her nieces, of whom I’m now certain there are none because I’ve never…

Hurricanes aren’t so bad so long as you’re not in a flood zone and/or are more than a mile from the ocean. Or trees. And your house is made of brick. And you have a generator. And candles. And probably a grill with enough fuel/charcoal to use it every day for a week. No telling when the power is going to come back on.…

Give me couch surfing and raiding my married friends’ liquor cabinets.

The fact that you’re probably gonna die there and then your home will be sold to pay your debts and you will be forgotten, in a repeating cycle until the heat death of the universe or the aforementioned nuclear war.

Neighbors.