Not true: Melo’s been deeper into the playoffs.

Utah still won their first-round series with the Clippers and won Game 7 in L.A. by 13 points.

They know. They just need to keep the public deluded enough to keep voting Republican so that they can maintain a hold on their power. Ted Cruz isn’t stupid. He’s evil. What happens to the fate of humankind after he’s dead does not concern him so long as he maintains power today.

“That’s a pretty lousy lesson.”

At some point, we just need to accept that Jason Whitlock knows on which side his bread is buttered, salted, slathered in mayo, covered in bacon and cheese, dusted with flour, dipped in an eggwash, rolled in breadcrumbs and deep-fried.

Fat jokes about Whitlock almost seem counter-productive at this point because there are so many truly awful things about him.

I can’t stand Lavar Ball but this may be the greatest insult I’ve ever seen regarding this sellout: “Jason Whitlock can’t comment on anything but snacks.”

I’m gonna say the slightly obvious here, but Greg Howard did Deadspin and the world a great service by exposing this goddamn malicious phony for what he is.

Measured, reasoned and informative. All the things Whitlock is not.

Ok, but how about best New Orleans mascot?

Is Clark the Cub that high because he doesn’t wear pants?

“Whatever you do to her, I do to you.”

What no “Big Johnson” or “No Fear” shirts?

Honestly, I couldn’t care less what the dealer’s cost for a car is, or what MSRP is. I care about the price. If dealer A paid $1k more for a vehicle than dealer B did, that’s irrelevant, it doesn’t make me willing to pay dealer A more for it. Same with if dealer B has a higher fixed cost structure. Not my issue or…

With due respect to salespeople and their families, your job as a sales person is to make a sale at as much profit as you can manage within your ethical bounds. My job as a customer is to get myself the best deal. It is what it is. If my target price is too low for you, that’s unfortunately, but I don’t owe it to…

What about sending cute kittens to Abu Dhabi, is that still ok?

I was under the assumption that really attractive women never pooped. Is this wrong?