Ben Cahoon! He was Welker before Welker!

Starred for the use of putz.

That should be grounds for a legal homicide.

TL/DR

Seriously. WTF is this wet meat complaint? You want bone dry meat? Does that sound appetizing either?

Jim Thorpe would like a word with you.

Yup.

Holy shit, I can tell from these miserable takes what a shitheel you are in real life. Congratulations?

Because she had a sheltered life followed by a sheltered collegiate experience at an Ivy League school in her own hometown (so she didn’t have to move or experience anything out of her sheltered existence).

I don’t think does grow antlers. I thought only bucks do.

How dare you besmirch the good name of Costco! I demand satisfaction. Pistols at dawn!

Still a better love story than Twilight.

+1 Best and Brightest.

Oh c’mon. That’s like predicting water is wet or the sun rises in the...direction it rises in.

It’s comments like these that make me think I need to get married. That way there’s someone around that legally agreed to be subject to my hot takes.

RIP in peace. You were a ton of fun to watch. If it’s true that you killed yourself, at least (hopefully) you aren’t hurting so much anymore.

One thing I learned from this article, you are very pretty.

That’s good kinja.

RIP in peace

Is Matt Barnes gonna have to choke a bitch, is not apparently a rhetorical question.