Look….you can't beat the original because you had the couple from Dirty Dancing (NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER YOU FUCKING COMMIES), wacko-ass Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, and C-fucking Thomas Howell saving the world from the Red Menace. So why even try?

Look….you can't beat the original because you had the couple from Dirty Dancing (NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER YOU FUCKING COMMIES), wacko-ass Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, and C-fucking Thomas Howell saving the world from the Red Menace. So why even try?

I'll go, but if they start passing out kool-aid before the first encore, I'm out.

I'll go, but if they start passing out kool-aid before the first encore, I'm out.

I bet he produced copious amounts of ass sweat during his sex scene with marisa tomei.

I bet he produced copious amounts of ass sweat during his sex scene with marisa tomei.

Sale El Sol came out in 2010 (pretty good stuff, her usual oddball brand of pop) and he is recording a new album which no doubt will come out to go along with her new gig.

Sale El Sol came out in 2010 (pretty good stuff, her usual oddball brand of pop) and he is recording a new album which no doubt will come out to go along with her new gig.

I will give Shakira one thing, she's more than a hot little thing - her pop music's smart and well done. It's pretty offbeat for top 40.

I will give Shakira one thing, she's more than a hot little thing - her pop music's smart and well done. It's pretty offbeat for top 40.

The one where he keeps her locked in his basement and tortures her?

The one where he keeps her locked in his basement and tortures her?

You are such a fucked up person. For making me choke on my lunch from laughter…

You are such a fucked up person. For making me choke on my lunch from laughter…

Taft would just use his go-to move - sitting on them.

Taft would just use his go-to move - sitting on them.

We're watching you, O'Neal *points cigar at eye in a menacing manner*

We're watching you, O'Neal *points cigar at eye in a menacing manner*

I know. I figured he was done. That was pretty good, that miniseries.

I know. I figured he was done. That was pretty good, that miniseries.