“man, if I had a chin for every tired excuse I hear I would have about the same amount of chins”

Idea: The Indians should wear the names of all the players from Major League.

But does it beat the take it to the limit lady?

I awaited rational, nuanced discussion of this blunder by both sides.

Since nobody but miserable Yinzers really cares about seeing Pittsburgh claim its fifth Stanley Cup

Say it to yourself in Troy McClure’s voice: I promise it works.

Oh, god, the purists are gonna turn this into a complete cloucester.

That’s actually the band Nelson.

god damn it! Does this mean I have to get rid of this?

All of Hedberg’s jokes are old.

“We’re in the NFL. We’re in a multibillion corporation. You can write that off on your taxes, but you’re charging these kids? There’s no part of it that’s right. Your heart’s not in the right direction when you’re doing that.”

That move is called ‘The Scorpion’, for obvious reasons.

It didn’t bother me until right now that both of these men already have built in hockey nicknames.