How can you be proud of yourself for having to resort to fast fucking food? This whole debacle is yours to own, Cheeto Mussolini.

Oh my god! That man had a family! It’s a real slobberknocker!

Can'tsay that I disagree with the man in his email. I wouldn't trust the deadspin staff to write cereal ingredients.

Obviously they dredge the bayou and drag up the corpses of Tom Savage and RGIII and immediately sign them both for multi-year, multi-million dollar “QB competition” contracts.

Yeah, he should cry into his mountains of money. Frankly, I dgaf what he says. I'm just some poor ICE asshole who's watching the rise of electrification.

Seriously? That thing looks like a real life version of too many rails of coke and a hooker or two with questionable living status.

*Deshaun

Hot take: Instead of being racists: why not be thieves? Yeah, change the team name to the Capitols and have a picture of the Capitol dome as your logo? Use an oversize headed George Washington as your mascot and use these unis and variants thereof? 

Well, pro is the opposite of con and Congress is the opposite of progress.

“Eli’s got three or four good seasons left in him.”

Nm

Clutch your pearls tighter.

Often times the phrase: “that boys family got a n- in the woodpile.”  intimating that said boy may be of mixed racial heritage. So there is also that phrasing.

Game manager QB

Hey man, he’s the top guy at the Navy SEALS, he’s got the mostest kills, like ever. Being a keyboard commando is no sweat for a tough guy like him.

Pfff... decades. Almost a century of defects.

If you can’t JB Weld it, or duct it- fuck it. 

Hey! Have some respect. His waifu has a name ya know. Never you mind the yellow stains, a man has a right to love his woman.

Hey Jags fans, take heart! You should have an easy W next week against my Texans. That offensive line is fuck ugly. I seriously think a Pop Warner team would tear up the offensive line.