Yeah, fuck Houston for winning it all for the first time in their 56 year history. Fuck Houston for bringing it home right after Harvey played the prison rape game (we lost that one fyi). Yeah, none of that matters.

You shut your whore mouth! Thunderchickens are amazaballs! My first ever car was an 86 with no tranny and clogged catalytic converters.

He’s got a good QB. But, he blew his knee out. Can we just say that this is the most snakebit Texans season?

You don’t?

So will it still be a raging pile ‘o crap with eleventy billion electric gremlins and fifty gazillion recalls?

Eat shit Torch. The Paseo was a legit little car. I had a 92 and she was slow, but fun to toss around.

Hey Torch, you seem like a dick in this article. Stay classy dude, you’re one of my favorite Jalop writers.

Yeah well, you play him for 600 minutes straight, he’s gonna flame out. He doesn’t choke, he’s exhausted. Difference this year is we’ve got CP3 and constantly rotate them in and out keeping their legs fresh.

Can’t we just name them after Dan Snyder and call them the DC Buttplugs? Hell, the team logo could be the Washington Monument.

Early 00's airbags are maybe items. Maybe they’ll deploy- maybe go fahk yahself.

So did the rust come preinstalled, or was it a dealer option item? Honestly, there is no guilt in putting this thing out of its misery; it’s practically begging for it.

Is it me, or dies the Urus look like an angry Audi?

Toyota Prius Turbo.

I’m a Texan, this shit a goddamn dessert food.

I can’t wait for next week’s article about David’s new project Wagoneer he snagged off Craigslist.

As Rocketbro, thanks for taking that grenade for us OKC, you aight.

...but Verlander won.

I’m calling degenerative athritis in his throwing shoulder.

The ones of make-believe in his head.

Now, about that Range Rover reliability FCA...