"Puberty was invented for a reason. It signals the brain when to find a female sexually attractive."

13. Thirteen. THIRTEEN.

I'm only replying to because I, too, am in the grays and thus this doesn't count as approval of your gross justification for statutory rape that I'm going to go ahead and assume you've committed.

If you pick a girl up from a playground, you should probably check for I.D

I have to say, the older I get, the younger everyone else looks. I think 24 year olds are 17. I think 17 year olds are 12.

Most of what your pet wants from you is affection and attention.

WHY.THE.FUCK.IS.THIS.RODENT.ON.A.PERSON'S.BED?

"he reached roughly the weight of 4 or 5 dachshunds"

YO, Mark, it's 50 degrees here! which means it's that time of year when I don't wear socks regularly for the next 6 months

Fuck that guy. Some stupid bitch once made me feel itty bitty shitty back in middle school when she openly laughed at me in front of the whole class and asked why my nose was so big? Then she said I looked like a gorilla. It was horrible! It's been years and years but the memory still stings and it's just something…

But, if you're not an idiot, you know that comparing a black person to an ape EVER is a bad fucking idea

Inevitable "free speech" whining may be countered as follows: Too many people should ask their 8th grade social studies teacher to explain "freedom of speech "again. It does not mean "freedom from consequences resulting from your speech." It applies to government persecuting citizens for what they say or write. It…

I still regret not seeing this!

i have been very preoccupied with the thought of dying lately. i can't even leave the house without worrying if i am going to die somehow that day (car accident, falling chunk of ice, random act of violence, etc) and have been wondering if i should seek out some therapy. then i saw this article. i am going to find…

This story doesn't even compare...

I remember my uncle got married back when I was like 7 or 8 and we had the reception at a park, it was in the summer, beautiful day and night, well I remember one of my uncles not the married one being cornered in a room where the food was being held by a group of 4 or 5 guys NOT dressed for a wedding or reception,…

Dammit! I missed this one!

stolen: the shit icing on the hate cake

Last summer, a couple of friends and I went on a road trip to a music festival in Tennessee.