My Dad is on the proper side too. I don’t know what the hell he was thinking. I mean, aside from anything else, the county is practically propped up by EU subsidies. He’s in his 70s, reads the Telegraph, has racist idiot neighbours, only got Leave crap through the letterbox but never from Remain? Dunno.

Rohrabacher huh? You mean, the one that the Republican chitchat tape revealed as another person being paid by Russia? Well, colour me

The servants would love that!

With Siri lol

I simply can’t understand her refusal to attend these public events. Is she worried that if she goes outside the wind might change and her face will get stuck like that?

White House troll? (Who needs to moisturise?)

Great idea! Thanks! I’ll take a quick look.

Hey, does that band remind anyone else of the one on the Titanic? No? Just me?

(Or soul)

I am 51 and coming to terms with my shadow side. We’re not quite friends yet.

Only 24 hours? No amount of time or bleach could cleanse the body and soul of someone who once welcomed Der Gropenfuhrer into her [life].

It must be 15 years ago now but I still remember spotting that cover in a station shop then climbing on a train to London quivering with rage. Not usually my style. She really gets under people’s skin, huh?

I liked her early on. She was luminous in Se7en, and Sliding Doors, but around the time of her Oscar became insufferable onscreen and off. Even as Margot I found her self-consciously ‘look how cool I am’. I sense that she was kind of princessy anyway and then Madonna broke her.

And both, at least lately, doing actual harm and not owning that. At least Gwyneth has some actual talents though. Ivanka is more ferret-faced and conniving (daddy’s little bagman), Gwyneth more insufferable.

She never quite hits the right note, does she? Her own worst enemy. I remember a UK Cosmo cover years ago, saying something like ‘Gwyneth: I get cellulite too you know’ and I wanted to ... I don’t even know what I wanted to do. But it wasn’t coming from the best part of me.