Great story.

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

I would also miss my right arm every day.

“Two to three years of regular sexual contact with your wife is probably enough to close the gap with your mom.” -Drew Magary.

big idiot’s beef

More raisist than sexist but whatever.

A few years ago when Burger King started offering 10 nuggets for $1.50, I started wondering just how many I could eat. I finished 50 nuggets in 9 minutes. Felt like garbage, but estimated my cap somewhere around 65. I was 30.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

But if fans throw Senators on the ice instead of ducks like in this series, it would easily be the more interesting of the two potential match-ups.

Great series, it really could have gone either way.

This blows. “Jesus Christ Pose” changed me. Unplugged in Sweden is underrated, furthermore.

The banned fan’s seat will henceforth be filled by a statue of the fan.

He also had 12 other BMWs stored in the parking lot of the company he worked for.

Holy shit.

What about Elfman?

Maybe they meant Madison.

Last time a Kizer talked this big, the rest of us got drafted.

I just feel sad hearing this.

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people.