I'm having trouble sorting through my emotions. Is there a good phrase that conveys jealousy, happiness, and deep shame for caring so much?

Girl, hush. Didn't you know getting advanced degrees in STEM and climbing the corporate ladder in a field where women are severely underrepresented is the same as being a sex tape celebutante/socialite with a reality show? I thought you knew.

Curious . . .

What?

That may be savvy, but it's not actual work.

I didn't mention the sex tape and it's irrelevant. But you cannot convince me that dressing up and doing elaborate makeup in order to pose for selfies that are then posted on Instagram is work. Just like the Wall ST sociopaths who crashed the economy are not "job creators." You can say it over and over but it still…

It's not rating her worth as a woman, it's just pointing out how absurd it is that a multi-millionaire woman (who's claim to fame is being born rich and a sex tape) is acting like she knows exactly what it's like to be a working mom, when really she has the option to work or not whereas so many women don't.

And when she comes home from a day at "work," she doesn't have to rush to daycare or risk being charged overtime, or stop at the grocery store, cook dinner, clean it up, get the laundry done, give the kid a bath and read stories, and try and balance the checkbook before falling into bed. Rinse repeat.

"sex tape star-cum-reality TV personality"

Kim Kardashian talking about "having it all" is just laughable. She's so out of touch with reality she has no idea what "having it all" actually means to the majority of people. (Specifically women)

Do inanimate objects count? Because if so I nominate:

Except Phil. He's the best.

I'm torn between the token black character or the older and wiser black character who guides white people in life.

THESE COUNTRIES DONT EVEN EXIST ANYMORE

I went outside for five minutes to water some plants. When I came back inside and glanced at the screen, I actually shouted, "What the everloving fuck?" at the 4-0 score. And then another! This thing is so insane that I almost, almost feel sorry for Brazil.

4-0! IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I say we build a giant wall around the whole country.

Here's a perfect GIF for this story :