Unemployed for THE rest of his life. 

This guy is definitely THE biggest dickhead on earth.

I’ve tried using friends’ Android phones. I know the definition of dreck.

It’s a bit of a hipster cliche to say “Seinfeld wasn’t that good”

Should Khabib beat Mayweather into lifeless pulp?

If this guy was in San Francisco, the city would have sold his car off at auction and spent the proceeds on handouts for bums. Then the city would fine the owner for the cost of towing, storage, and disposal.

Yup, also this sketch wasn’t a response from 2 weeks ago, it was bc kanye literally just met trump that week! Let’s use facts when critiquing please.

They need to promote him to series regular at this point!

didn’t they “come back” the very next week with the Pete Davidson Weekend Update piece (which was golden, btw)??

It’s not the military’s flag, you jackass.

Hi. I’m a veteran. There was a war on and everything. I’m here to ask you to please shut the fuck up.

As a veteran who thinks you're full of shit, please stop pretending to speak for us.

Active duty guy here. Flag/anthem are not sacred symbols for veterans or the deceased. If you think they are so revered, go to a military base and ovserve how many people are at “Morning Colors” when the flag is raised. It is only a few folks on duty, everyone else makes sure they are inside so they don’t have to stop…

I know a number of veterans, and one of them is very conservative. He doesn’t agree per se with the demonstrations, but he both understands why they do it, and respects their right to do it, because he understands that the ability to protest peacefully is one of the freedoms that he believes in.

You don’t speak for all veterans. Veterans do not get to decide what the flag/anthem mean to the citizens of this country.

You can repeat yourself as often as you like, and you’ll still be wrong.

It’s not as if S.A. suddenly became a bad country overnight because they probably murdered a journalist inside one of their own embassies. If this was the trigger point for you, why didn’t you care about all the other bad awful shit they’ve done over years and decades? Other than their genocidal war in Yemen;

His teammates legs are blocking my view. I can’t even see the banana peel.

just join twitter and you won’t have to deal with friends or family

Or, I can burn all my credit cards, quit my job and go live in a cave. All of my problems are then gone!