I was excited when the XFL launched back in 2001. There was so much hype and I liked that there was no coin toss. It quickly flamed out and after watching the 30 for 30 about it, it was rushed into “production” and failed. I think the times have changed and if done right, can actually become successful. I would give…

What a relief it will be when it’s resolved.

Right?

Sorry, could you repeat that? I can’t hear you over my enormous penis.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you on an ad before where you were pegging Mrs. Krabappel, just sayin.

If Alex Jones says those boner, I mean, “male enhancement” pills work for him, then by cracky they must!!

Say what? Pilots and taxi drivers are in the same category?

I don’t care how rich I am, it would never occur to me to tip A PILOT.

So ... you actually did steal.

I source all my Ted Cruz info from his college roommate.

CotY Nom: Category “Not Sports (Or Is It?)

“Sir, what makes you qualified for this position?”

“Two games” - Roger Goodell

if only kendall jenner got there sooner with that pepsi...

How Swede it is.

To me, it looks like he either tripped on Estonia or slipped on Greece. I hope he didn’t break any China.

Okay-okay. Hindsight being 20/20, maybe I should have turned the lights off... or roofied myself.

He was better at the Finnish, although there’s Norway he could win at that point.

I guess you could say that this was one of those times where “things went downhill quickly” would’ve been preferred.

Goldie Hawn has been getting papped a lot lately and I’m starting to wonder if she’s the one making the calls.