When did Jezebel hire Roy Moore?

“But Jesus, why are there only one set of footprints in the hardest times in my life?”

Worthy of the esteemed political cartoonist at the Onion...

If only the sketch of the Mobile, AL leprechaun were as fruitful...

If it is ok with you, I plan on stealing this and using it quite often in the future.

Narcissism is a funny thing. It makes the sufferer desperately overcompensate for all the inadequacies they think they have, but doesn’t do anything about the ones of which they’re unaware. So the narcissist ends up being an odd mix of intensely defensive and utterly oblivious.

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.

That being said, she quickly added, “If you’ve already got the flu, I’m gonna pray for you right now ... flu, I bind you off of the people in the name of Jesus. Jesus himself gave us the flu shot.”

Police left after discovering that “burglary” is just what Gronkowski calls a cookout.

Timberlake and Fallon are, like, an object lesson in how Hollywood will take anything that is kind of charming and drive it into the ground until you not only hate it, you hate yourself for ever having liked it.

Wait—JIMMY FALLON was impressed?

I’m a huge Stephen King fan, I’ve read him since I was a wee monkey and before Dead Zone came out, yet I simply cannot get interested in his Dark Tower series. Tried reading the first volume and I was out a third of the way through the book. I have no idea why. What am I missing?

My cat travels with me because he needs daily meds. He sits in his carrier under my seat along side my purse, taking up no space and meows a couple of times during take off and landing. No skin off anyone’s butt there.

Seems he’s not the only 45-supporting idiot who is also a slug (with apologies to slugs). I wonder if there are others.

No, he didn’t fall into a Picasso and tear it. He was waving his arms around and gesturing wildly and stuck his arm through it, but he did not fall. The same dingus shot his index finger off playing with a gun in his office. Basically, he’s put all of his attribute points into the casino magnate field and is…

I’ll just say I saw this movie yesterday and cried like a baby and everyone should see it. It’s beautiful and strange and satisfying and not your typical Oscar bait yawn fest.

Also, the heroes are a woman with a disability, a black woman, and a gay man and the villain is basically a stand-in for toxic white…