Man, I’m bummed that people are getting deals from their dermatologists. I thought that said “deontologist’s office” at first. :(

Especially if your spot is bought by your rich papa

“they shared an In-n-Out burger after being reunited.”

What are they about?

Oh just fucking eat it, you big baby

Typical Stedman, always spilling the beans. Is this guy capable of opening his mouth without letting dozens of skeletons out of the closet? Smh.

One of the hallmarks of psychopathy is criminal versatility. If one avenue for gaming the system runs out, they’ll find another one.

Pregnancy rumor magazines should be replaced with a babushka that says “she is vith child” under pictures of celebs

Why the long face, Damore

Who am I kidding. Look at this face

I mean, my girlfriend did fill out the application without asking me...

He skated to Ave Maria, and, well...

I love our new dog, but her separation anxiety is preventing me from seeing this movie and I am L O V I N G L Y P I S S E D

Does Jennifer Aniston act anymore, for real?

As a recent philosophy PhD, it’s been really exciting watching Manne’s book get all this attention.

Oh Jesus, is he one of those “actually it’s ephebophilia” weirdos?

(Bear in mind that I read The Gunslinger during a trip overseas, and so was pretty zonked out most of the time. I “read” the rest of the series via audiobook, and loved it. Here’s my take.)

That joke has all the subtlety of a dick in your ass. (Not that it’s a bad joke! I like it.)

I thought you just gave a glib fuck-you RIP to Chunk and then I found out that you weren’t talking about the fat kid from The Goonies

Keanu Reeves is reportedly one of the nicest people around. He’s not just likeable, he’s like a genuinely kind person. So yeah, it’d be a big bummer