What? A real cigarette? Why not a breast-milk-flavored vape pen?

Y'know, you need the rest of the rope if you're going to hang yourself. That is a useless noose.

Yeah, and I don't think he's sleeping. I could see that one in a clickbait story about 12 Ways Screens Will Kill Your Children - Number Five Will SHOCK you!

Mine, too. Why would they want her?

She's misrepresenting that WH press credential. It was a one-day pass that damn near anybody can get. Not a full credential.

This is so bizarre: During a cabinet meeting today, each and very cabinet member complimented Trump with very over the top flattery
http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/…

Clarification from Alison Brie via Twitter:

Six minutes? Roxy Hart's defense lasted longer than that. Jeebus.

I hear Billy Bush is looking for a gig.

I was just thinking that there aren't enough games of Simon Says on TV any more.

40% of the contestants were Robert Conrad.

Sounds like your friend has watched too many boom-chikka-wakka movies.

> It's like a hot circle of garbage.

> [Pukes for 5 hours without stopping]

Little known fact: the iconic Mr Peanut is loosely based on Tlalcacahuatl, the bloodthirsty and wrathful Aztec god of peanuts. Many an unfortunate human sacrifice had his heart forcibly removed by a monocle-wearing priest with a canelike weapon coated in obsidian blades and replaced with a handful of lightly roasted…

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."

My uncle had asselbergs. They were very painful.

But not the one we deserve.

I had a sunny-side up egg on a ham pizza once. It was pretty good.

Also nightshades: potatoes, chile peppers, and tomatillos.