(reads gray comments)

Lebron James

And

Career 17.5 ppg, 12.7 rpg, 2.0 bpg, .588 FG%, 3 time Defensive Player of the Year, 8 time All Star, 8 time All NBA, dragged an otherwise pretty shitty Magic team to the finals, and he is regarded as a punchline and constant disappointment and failure.

There’s only been one player labeled a “LeBron Stopper” who has ever been remotely successful at stopping Bron in the playoffs and it’s this beautiful man right here...

Amazing how just seconds after he was hacked, he managed to sleepwalk to his phone and delete the tweet while sleeping.

It’s good but it’s no Bradwater

Isn’t island prison... Australia?

Finally, somebody said it. Nobody cares about your struggles. Maybe don’t live in the antarctic.

Report: Jay Cutler’s New Job May Involve Apathetically Watching Football Games

Scientist have actually translated the sounds. It actually says “All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there”.  

I think what they are alluding to is that after 6pm there’s Mormon than women out at the local bars.

I’m 39 years old. I tried marijuana for the first time two years ago when I was in Colorado. I’ve never been against it—but having long been a beer guy I just never figured it was my “thing.”

I also look forward to that annual Bears roast. But now it’s gone from joking with a friend who drinks a too much that he’s an alcoholic, to being at his intervention and trying to get him into rehab.

Usually I get a big kick out of Drew’s evaluation of why the Bears suck. It’s just going to be sad this year. I’m already dreading it.

I sort of can’t wait for the hindsight of four years from now.

If people actually cared about the Atlanta Hawks, Joe Johnson would be a much bigger name in the NBA.

Yes, it’s me! You might recognize me from my work in the critically-acclaimed mobster movie, Goodfellas. Now I write about space!

700 years ago? Are you sure?