The thing about depression and low self-esteem is that maybe someone says, "wow, my dad died on your birthday. I feel like I'll never be able to celebrate it again." (something reasonable to say in the throes of grief) and you hear, "my dad died on your birthday. We're never going to celebrate it again. ALSO YOU SUCK."

"Debt is something that someone worthy of being your spouse is willing to take on."

Wait, what? His banker said you can't get married before you pay off your debt?

Just sell it! If they ask about it (they probably won't, but I have some relatives who are rude like that), say that you only wear it out for special occasions or something, and GAWD you love it SO MUCH!

I really don't! But I take my husband's feelings seriously.

We actually have audio & video surveillance (something employees are aware of and have to agree to before their first day), so the firm that does our security & provides reports included that in this week's. "Female employee at approximately [time] on [day]: ..." type of deal. It was fairly lewd.

Depends. Was there a qualifier? A "I've never felt fireworks over you" is hurtful, but if it was something like, "I've never felt fireworks over you, but this is love like I didn't expect it, where seeing you makes the colors of my day brighter" then, I dunno, I don't think so.

"women shouldn't play sports, lest they accidentally tear their hymen and lose their virginity."

"this will be only the first in a series of messes" <-almost word-for-word what my husband said...

New girl we hired was overheard talking, at work, about how she's sooo attracted to my husband and is hoping to stay late one day while he's at our business - we take turns going in a couple times a week. He wants to fire her (and we're an at-will state so there would be no legal complications), but I think she's…

Maybe you know him as Harry from 3rd Rock from the Sun? That's his most famous role, I think.

Somewhere, maybe right now, there's a super awkward, standoffish 24 (or whatever age you like) year old man thinking the same thing.

Pull one of these and a "here. you. go."

That's how I see it too. The outrage is very "ho dare you imply my sweet little angel is going through PUBERTY?!" and also that Sweet Little Angel might be aware of the change and - eek! - wanna look cute without clothes on.

"Both crimes in which precautions can be taken to try to prevent"

"A thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else"

Like the first one says, adapt yourself to living without sun!

Your metaphor sucks and your attitude sucks. You probably suck, too. Your "but don't put yourself in a position where you're more vulnerable to being raped" naturally implies that someone who GETS raped is someone who put themselves in that position, therefore, it is their fault. 80% of rapists are someone known to…

A "metaphor" is a figure of speech implying that the thing being described is the same as the unrelated thing it's being compared to.