Selfie Stick, in one's ass, that's the only way it can conceivably work.

Well, underbutt shorts are already a thing, and there are probably selfies of people wearing them. I hate that I know this....

I Googled "underboob selfies."

Here's the thing: when you book a trip to a foreign country, take a minute to find out about their customs, mores, etc. It only takes a minute to find out that Thailand is not cool with nudity. There, done.

SERIOUSLY.

My husband told me he was in line at the ballpark when a late-twenties age guy started hitting on the girl in front of him. She wasn't really paying attention, but he was throwing hard game and finally said, "c'on baby, how old are you anyways?" She turned, smiled a big mouth full of braces, and chirpily announced…

13. Thirteen. THIRTEEN.

I'm only replying to because I, too, am in the grays and thus this doesn't count as approval of your gross justification for statutory rape that I'm going to go ahead and assume you've committed.

If you pick a girl up from a playground, you should probably check for I.D

I have to say, the older I get, the younger everyone else looks. I think 24 year olds are 17. I think 17 year olds are 12.

I would add one more thing. You can't lose weight through exercise alone. I've tried it. And tried it. And tried it. It doesn't work. I might lose 8-10 pounds through exercise alone but weight loss comes down to eating less. Exercise will boost your results but if you can't control what's going into your mouth,…

Can we add a line about if people are really, truly concerned about you, try to step back and re-examine what you're doing and why. I ask for this pause for self-reflection because, in reading over the Greatist article, what struck me immediately was - this is life with an eating disorder. People worrying about your…

With me, its just the opposite. I am a big guy, with horrible eating habits. But, I also work out when I can. The whole "You should be happy with who you are" drives me nuts because I AM happy with who I am, but that doesn't mean that hitting the weights or the bike means I have a poor self image.

i tell people that i needed to lose weight because my doctor told me i was going to die and that usually shuts them up from saying stupid shit

Do you not watch Jeopardy, or was the supposed to be a joke?

No, the fact that you acknowledge them is really all that matters.

To clarify point 'B', does the black friend actually have to be aware of your existence? I ask, because I've known a couple of people claiming to have black friends, when what they meant was that they work in a building that has a black person in it, or they got their car fixed by a black mechanic ("he's really quite…

You actually can't be racist if you:

After the babies were born, I'd sometimes forget about them—not in a leave-them-in-the-car way, but, like, when they'd wake me up at night I'd be confused for a few seconds. "What the fuck is that godawful noise? Oh, yeah... it's you. You're a thing."

It happened with all three kids. New babies are brain-fucks, man.