That’s what I don’t get. He seems to be vain as hell, but NOTHING about him would indicate that. His hair is a joke, his skin is unnatural, he’s overweight, and he wears terrible-fitting clothes. Or do NPDs also have a kind of body dysmorphia where they look in the mirror and see hotness where there is none?

I am always amazed at how poorly his clothes fit. I’m not shaming him for his body shape, I’m just confused. We know he’s a man who cares a lot about his image. We know he’s a man who claims to have buckets of money. Why does he always look like he’s dressed himself from the clearance rack at Sears?

Trump is smart. Bigly smart. What could the intelligence people tell him that he doesn’t already know?

The constant flood of Michelle Obama comments over the last 8 years really do flummox me.

Termination could entitle him to benefits/golden parachutes, if he quits then no payout would be required.

its god’s mix tape.

All for a relationship that’ll be over by the end of the school year.

I just want to imagine her giving it to the guy, with her eyes glowing with pride, and then he opens it up, and is like... 

Personal beliefs aside, that is an impressively thoughtful and work-intensive gift.

Labial splits and under cleavage are so rarely in fashion. It is so unfair. Like, those are my best features!

Oh, good, labial split pussy bows are back in fashion!

True story. I think perseverating over Trump’s *haha* minor fails is like taking a break from a dense textbook to read a stupid gossip mag. A little light junk food fare for the mind to keep it from exploding.

Yo, seriously, [MAJOR SPOILER ALERT] Vader’s rampage right at the end was probably the most fuckin’ amped I’ve been in a movie theater in years. I felt like my head was going to pop.

Jesus they are dumb. You can get a three bedroom above 59th st on both the east and west side for way less than that. Above 110, you can get a three bedroom for easily $2500. So, yeah, they can live in Manhattan, and live in better neighborhoods, for way cheaper. What a bunch of fools. I’m sure I could find a three…

3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, big dining room, big kitchen, bonus room/man cave, big back yard, 2 car garage, 14 hours from NYC. $1100 month mortgage.

The only reasonable explanation is that they are vampires. The only unique feature of the Financial District is that a couple of the streets never see natural light. Plus, it’s plenty deserted at night for them to pick off the other people stupid enough to be there after hours.

Moving to another borough would afford the foursome much more space for less money, of course, but like many newcomers, they are willing to make certain sacrifices to stay in Manhattan.

You know if he’s so worried about his double chin, he should go ahead and get plastic surgery. I hear Joan Rivers’ last doctors have some slots available.