You know what, Philly? I could rattle on about the numbing rhetoric in your complaints or explain how the Star Wars crack was intended as a statement describing your lack of appreciation for good film, but seeing as those would probably be wasted on you, I'm just going to go off and let you immerse yourself in the…

You're completely missing the point here; Richard Parker isn't essential as a successful father figure, he's important because he wasn't. He disappeared, and left Peter with a deep mistrust in authority figures, which made it hard for him growing up with the Ben Parker, and the fact that in spite of Peter's issues,…

I'm pretty sure being erased from existence doesn't count as getting killed. And besides, the entire thing was engineered by Reverse-Flash from the beginning, influencing Barry's actions since his confession of murdering Barry's mother which in turn spurred him to attempt to alter — rather, "correct"— the timeline,…

It's Captain Marvel now, people.

The daddy issue subplot is a subtle but evident undertone that echoes throughout Peter's character, especially Webb's interpretation of him. His snark, his issues with authority, the prankster elements consistent throughout his characterization since the days of Lee and Ditko, and the introduction of Richard and Mary…

It's called a "metal bikini"?

Explain the events of the DC epic crossover Blackest Night, or explain how you're a volunteer at the nearby soup kitchen and there was a one-legged arthritic old lady in need of CPR which you valiantly provided, saving her life, then saw her home personally and in the process heroically fended off a couple of muggers…

Jeez. What's up with that Superman suit?

Oh, Major Force. Your dickishness shall be remembered through the ages.

How's a dinosaur discovered in the sixties count as "new"?

Hey, Lois looked pretty hot as a black chick.

But it turns out he's sleeping with Madame Hydra. (Then they retcon him to be mind-controlled or something when the Cap fans start to riot)

This is the most down-to-earth, heartfelt, grounded rendition of Spidey I've ever seen. I love Raimi, and I love Spider-Man 2, but ASM is its own animal. The first part of a movie wasn't a mindless rehash; it actually gave Pete a hand in his own destiny, instead of a meaningless random accident. Of course, they had to…

Do you enjoy killing small animals and taking candy from howling babies, too?

Online conspiracy theorists. Like you know, me.

So her hair's the color of coke? Real subtle.

So the Fuheur wasn't digging for trinkets in the dessert, but the mountains?

Hulk fighting Ulik in Nidavelir! Hulk fighting Ulik in Nidavelir!

C00ler than the Hulk villain, anyway.

What about every single screenshot from The Amazing Spider-Man? There was plenty of classic JRJR stuff in there.