I love Jalopnik's standing policy of saving all the most gloriously hyperbolic headlines for exhaust video posts.

4. Don't lift.

I'd rather have this:

We may have also renamed it an 800sl.... you'll find out why when you're driving it.

Burnt Sienna

Owning a black car, I have always hated when the trees and plants have sex all over my car. I always tell them to get a room, they never listen.

It's a new class in amateur racing called "Formula Fjord."

BREAKING: Jeep will only be offering a slammed Cherokee in keeping with current trends. Naming is reportedly between Hellakee and Cherostance. They have declined comment except for "because racecar." Some executives at FCA have said that the only thing they're interested in lifting are Stancenation spirits—market…