The question is this: will the Red Comet shoes improve my running speed by any factors?

If by "can't hold a candle" you mean "looks so much better than" then sure. 

Incoming change of policy in 3...2...1...

Didn’t read the entire article, did you?

I look forward to all the stories of people throwing that pokeball at their TV.

Went in with little expectation. I’m actually rather excited for it now.

“While these games are the first proper Pokémon games to come to the Switch, Nintendo also announced today that there is a “core” Pokémon game in development for the console, slated to come late 2019.”

Someone was not paying attention at all.