No no no, make the garage roll over the cars, even easier!

Buy a cheap shed, push each vehicle into it for one day every two weeks.

I’m glad you went with Sr.

Needs more Scooty Puff.

I can’t exactly say why, but the image of Jason “barreling” around his neighborhood in his tiny Freeman blasting “Jolene” fills me with joy. I don’t think that’s a sight that anyone could have invented for fear of being called too far-fetched.

As to the range itself - not bad. However, as someone that pushed around a…

This is a worse version of the same joke my dad retold 25 years ago.

If the glove fits.......

I think you would get only one, not a pair.

Recreate the chase, then have Bill Ford drive through the wall of the auditorium toward the assembled press.

When Ford sees its you on their caller ID or in their inbox, do they mutter “Jalopnik...” under their breath in a Jerry Seinfeld accent?

You haven’t suggested any kind of alternative measurement though.

Wow, how can anyone respect you, one who thinks that a 'man card' relies on doing basic plumbing?

Replacing a starter is not something I experienced in the first 45 years of my life. I don’t know why you feel the need to shit on people who simply have never had the need or the interest in performing such an operation.

I can’t decide if “(This was from a lady by the way)“ was the friend’s addition or Torch’s, but I like to think it was Torch’s, as a small boast aimed at all that have criticized his hair. And also to point out to his wife what a great catch he, a man of international sex appeal, remains.

My buddy had to do this from time to time with his ‘79 VW Rabbit. Once, in the heart of a Midwestern summer (triple digit temps with humidity that rivals a Turkish bath), we had to do this in a Target parking lot. We pushed the car to the edge of the blacktop to avoid other cars and to a spot with a suitably long…

Some cars do tell you that information.  The problem is people can’t be bothered to fix it.

Why didn’t you order TWO cots? :)

Yeah, how about no. Speed cameras are BS. 

“Reliability is very important to me”

Which is why he’s looking at the peak of automotive reliability: the used German sports car.