Emmitt Smith is deathly afraid of ladders too. Give him a choice, and he'll always opt for the former.

Devils: [taken over by hockey league]

[sends JJJJJDDDD back in time]

Yeah, but which Roll Tide fans will ever know?

David's comment was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read today (since yours, and the gif above obviously). Having read SI, I immediately knew to whom he was referring, but man he really missed the mark.

"Wow, I didn't think he was going to pull it out."
- air

Frank Stallone!

Marcus is the black Fredo Corleone.

I really have a problem choosing between the Kray's.

Billy Carter?

Well Cain was pretty awful.

"Revenge! You crossed me one too many times."

I remember I gave up eating bacon for a month, but it was ok because I replaced it with sausage.

Oh. So he really didn't get the memo about taking out your franchise QB when he's hurt, did he?

Tonto originally starred in an ad for Jeep, about Cherokees being driven off the lot to make room for the new Patriots

we have a goodbye, a trolling spy, and a cutey pie.

Since there's no way he could do it on his own, who will help Jack off Deadspin?

Fry those mother fucking french fries again. If that takes too much time go buy some more mother fucking fries.