When I was in the hospital mere hours after giving birth to my first daughter, I gazed at her and thought: "I will swiftly murder anyone who hurts this baby without equivocation." I breastfed her for 6 months.

I could use my nook while breastfeeding or pumping breastmilk. Seriously, B&N should advertise that as a feature because it was so awesome for a klutz like me to be able to do that. I never got the hang of reading an actual book while I did those things, though I know plenty of ladies who can/did.

Sorry. An extremely unscientific survey I did at my house proclaimed my ass "the best ever." Damn right.

Maybe it was $12. (but I often use my old grad school ID to get the discount!) I live in Florida.

I blamed myself for yet again again thinking that James Cameron could make a good movie. He did not and can not. I should have just flushed that $10 down the crapper.

Good! There are so many standards we feel compelled to uphold as a new mom "I MUST breastfeed, I MUST get them to 2 naps by month x" etc. Does my husband stress that her first nap was only 35 min? Hell no. Would a man worry that the non-organic diapers are poisioning his kid? Hell no. He would (at least my husband…

The best new-mommy advice I got:

Wow. You are super strong & I admire your bravery and persistence. I had my first daughter in 09 too and breastfeeding was an issue for us only in that she didn't latch for 8 weeks and I had to pump around the clock. I don't know what I would do if someone told me they would take my daughter away if I continued…

This is exactly what I do too. I hope she never catches on to the fact that mommy throws away the caramel sauce (because, really, wtf, McDs? Way to mess up a healthy option.)

Breastfeeding didn't help me with weight loss either. It's like my body is a horder and fat is what it hoards. I KNOW I am burning through a ton of calories right now as I am breastfeeding all.the.time (she eats A TON) and I am hungry throughout the day, but I am still not dropping weight though I eat right and am…

Ahhhhh! Me too! Optimus Prime's sexy, sexy low voice did it, I think.

UUs for the win!!!

I would just like to add, if you are giving the gift of clothing try to be mindful of 1. when the baby is due to be born and 2. when that clothing gift will be seasonal. For example, my first was born in early July 09. She didn't need snuggly warm clothes for 5 months (we live in the South) so she never wore the 6…

Yes to this! I forgot to add that to my list above, as Handi Wipes are so much a part of my life as a mom I don't even think about it anymore . . . I just buy them by the case.

Keep a travel-sized stick of deodorant and powder in your car if you live in the Southeast. Also good: a travel-sized body spray. I actually call that the "who farted?" spray, but you can use it to make yourself smell pretty too.

Who would've guessed in 2001 that Neville Longbottom would grow up to be the most bangable? (I sincerely hope he is over 21 or I feel like a total creeper . . . )

I'm picturing this with a bunch of middle manager types sitting around on the floor of a conference room . . . finally the person being "it" yells "VAGINA!" and the chase ensues.

OMG: I think I will now refer to the Quick Princesses as "Innocent Fruits." (C'mon, Innocent Fruits!" "Let's roll, Innocent Fruits!" "Quiet down, Innocent Fruits or I will turn this car around!!"

I have a Seiko that rules, and Invictas are great too.

Aw crap. Oh well. I don't have the DVD in front of me. I still wish Mr. Dourdan well.