I poop with the door open.

“What precipitated it” is that McHenry got her car towed because she parks like a cunt. Then, she reminded everyone that she is a cunt by acting like a cunt to a woman who was just doing her job.

All I took from this article is that Barry tells his cat all about his day.

I think living by myself has turned me slightly feral.

I bet the Germans or Finns have a word for that feeling when you really wish you had known about a thing before you picked your major/thesis subject/etc.

It was discovered relatively soon after Browne’s letter that the “coarse hairs” growing from the backs and bodies of Languedoc’s children were likely the bristled legs of the sarcoptes scabiei, or itch mites.

What you should absolutely not do is a Google images search of Morgellons. Especially before you planned to go to lunch.

Oh my God, giving Fred Durst a hand job sounds like half of a “Would you rather?” question. Like, “Would you rather vote Republican or give a hand job to Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst?” (And then somehow, inexplicably, not amputate your hand afterwards or even wash it!) I would rather vote Republican because I live…

I have a friend who was in Hole for a short stint, and she definitely had lots of sex with Dave Grohl back when the two bands were intertwined for awhile. No great stories, all she says is he’s a considerate, competent guy in the sack and was pretty much horny 24/7 back then. She has lots of batshit stories about…

Ooof. The guy who stayed while his date was banging Isaac Brock. I just don’t know. It’s admirable he stayed so he could give her a ride home but Jesus there’s only so much humiliation a person should have to endure. And I’m not a puritan or anything, if I had a girlfriend and she wanted to fuck the lead singer of a…

YOU’RE A LIAR!

A friend of a friend apparently slept with Henry Rollins, and when he came, he yelled ‘FEEL THE SEED OF ROLLINS!’.

The DM thing would explain the tour bus thing, though....

I don’t have any but my first fun dream was about Madonna like 25 years ago.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment

It sounds like she was more of a friend that he had feelings for than a date. Like, reading between the lines, he thought it was a date, she thought they were just going to a concert together as buddies. Poor guy...

It would be really nice if we all could critique Madonna’s actions here without the “Ew... Gross because she’s old!” comments. Because there are other reasons why this is gross and they have nothing to do with her age.

Nothing like an article on Madonna to bring out the ageism in Jez commenters.

I'm single and in my mid-thirties, have no prospects and will probably never get married and go on a honeymoon. There's your horror story, suckas.

Ours is a long story, too long to recount here, so I'll say this...if our story had a title it would be: