Clearly they just want to defend American ideals by insisting anyone who disagrees with the state’s abuse of power be fired from their job. Just like Washington envisioned.

I’ll trade it for their not shooting any 12-year-olds with little warning and then lying to cover it up.

That comparison is ridiculous. Unlike Zlatan, Jesus had the awareness to know he was finished at 33.

Who do you think won that game of arm wrestling? Ibra or Mourinho?

This is the longest Why Your Team Sucks entry yet.

Big fans of Wet Hot American Summer, I see.

Brandon Sanderson clears his throat, drops his latest brick of a novel on the table, and offers to finish off the series for him.

Right now there is no partisanship, no Trump, no North Korea, no hate. Just this. Thanks man

There is no “Draft” to dodge. Except the NFL Draft. And these fools got drafted by the Browns. The BROWNS. It’s like the Afghanistan of NFL teams.

My life’s purpose is bigger than football.

Yesterday was 40 days since the all star game.

I assume they’ll all be blacklisted?

Fuck these guys. Bring on the robots.

They need to give them a swift kick in the balkans

Why hello, QueenShitty. Love the name, btw. There’s a big ass gravestone looking thing on Trade Street I’m currently eyeing. (Sadly just words, no head)

Samer, I thought you hated barstool sports?

Given that we’re now seeing Madden-esque receptions in real life, I think we can conclude that we are living in a computer simulation.

Okay, I fucking deserved that.

a fun game would be “soccer club wikipedia section” or “C-level fantasy movies from the late 1970s”

Oh no. Dammit Geoff.