Those guys also shouldn't have worn pants with zippers, they were just asking for it.

What the hell? The entire plea deal was he gets off entirely if he quits his job?

My face when I was watching the commercial:

Actually, I decided to look up the article on Fox News, and surprise surprise, they describe him as a former neighborhood watchman.

True, but the fact that the system doesn't take domestic violence seriously is a factor, and one which spans the socioeconomic spectrum.

George Zimmerman is walking, breathing proof that you can get away with anything in this country, so long as you only aim your crimes at people with fewer socioeconomic privileges.

My favorite part is the misogynistic, patriarchal fucking assumption that Jay-Z has primary control over Beyoncé's music, image, or career. I mean, Jay-Z is a Penis-Swinging Man, goddamnit, and thus the undeniable Head of Household, so he MUST be the one to blame here for his wife's sluttery, right? It's simply too…

BYE PHYLICIA.

Why is spring?

I have to say, it's shitty that the Oregon players are receiving more punishment than the rapist in this situation.

Emperor Maru is not impressed by your fawning obeisance.

If Maru was my cat, my life would be nothing but setting up ever more elaborate series of boxes. I would be unemployed, starving and crazed from lack of sleep, and I would be totally, completely happy.

I'd let him bang me on the spotless sink and ENJOY it.

There is no phrase I find more off putting than "sanitary napkin".

Liiiiiiiiiiiiies. I bet you anything that Maria's initial expression when finding out her son is dating Miley must've been:

I wondered about that myself. At first I thought, maybe he accidentally jumped onto a visitor (non-secured) WiFi from either the Courthouse or the Museum and that's how he pinged on their radar. Alas, the article stipulates that the WiFi network was definitively the one belonging to Starbucks. I guess it's possible…

Yeah, I have $150 in checking to last me until the 1st. Dov can kiss my shiny butt.

I blame Oprah for two of TV's biggest quacks and charlatans: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz.