The other major competition has the lawyer money behind it to fire right back if Unilever tried to sue them over something involving the word Mayo, though.

One of the greatest moments of relief in my life was realizing I didn't have any close friends to nominate me for that stupid icebucket challenge. Introverts for the win!

Anna Kendrick has been my number 1 female celebrity crush for like 6 years now

I'm more concerned about the cries for help from the women and girls he's sexually assaulted, tbh.

What a piece of shit.

To people saying these jokes aren't high-brow or subtle, I think you're missing the point. Rick Perry isn't high-brow or subtle (though he is a joke). They're mocking his own little caveman peanut-brain and I think it's hilarious. The questions are intentionally disrespectful because this loathsome toad doesn't…

Doesn't he harass all the women that work for him? At a certain point, isn't it better to just not work there rather than force them to hire women who are just going to get skeeved on by the head honcho?

I believe the term is "poop chute," not "poop shoot."

The thing for me with those shows is that they almost never spend any time talking about the cake. It's like, if I know you can use cake as a sculpting material then whether you make it into a guitar or the empire state building or whatever...fine but the thing that still matters is the deliciousness of the cake. My…

Mostly just wrote this so we'd all have a place to scream together.

Shade Court is the single greatest regular feature of Jez: the Next Generation.

For those of you who want more baby otter overload, PBS had a documentary as part of their Nature series called "Saving Otter 501". Like this otter, 501 was rescued by the Monterey Bay Aquarium staff. It is an adorable 1 hour long show about saving this otter, teaching her how to "be" an otter and eventually releasing…

Screw that, trade Ted Cruz.

That's just low. He should get his ass disbarred to see how he likes it. Scumbag.

That whole "I'm a comedian" bit of his is the most transparent fucking dodge for when he's called on to actually back up his professed beliefs. Jon Stewart is talented, but he's a goddamn chickenshit at inopportune times.

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WEAR THIS SWOOSHY CAPE SKIRT THING TO. PLEASE.

"Then attacking a guy dressed up as a Fox News reporter with a tennis racket (bad)"

I think if he would stop being sexist, homophobic, racist asshole every few months then people would be quicker to move on but he keeps showing his ass so nobody believes he's a changed man.