I know the holiday season has truly arrived when this post goes up. I love it. And I need that deer antler. I’m cosplaying Hannibal this weekend.

Yeah, my dad’s side gets into a LOT of that “we’re mad at X for Y,” thing. At one point, we as a family were shunned for 18 months because of...something? Like, didn’t even call us when grandma shattered her arm falling off the porch sort of shunned. Being very far away from it all has been amazing for me.

I have aunts in the same situation. They’ve been mad at each other for 20-odd years or more, and I never get the same story about why. At one point, it was because one aunt called out their dad for something during a holiday dinner. At another point, it was because the second aunt was mad she was not complimented by…

Mr. Naked and I both have a series of passwords we cycle through for stuff, so we sort of know each other’s passwords, but it’s not with any intention. It’s more like, “Shit. We need to change the netflix password. What should we use?” and one of us will suggest one of our commons. Or, in the two years I was flaring…

I am a casual viewer at best, but gimmie an underdog, and I lose my mind.

Mr. Naked’s Catholic Uncle remarked they ended up with their youngest because they were pretty sure they’d figure out how kids were made and wanted to prove it. He also sent congratulations when my uterus was removed because he knows we have no interest in kids.

As a Slytherin, I would like to disagree. We don’t JUST go bad to be bad (though some of us do). Some of us hold onto facts we know about you for YEARS before we go bad by airing your dirty laundry or doing something to undermine you even before you got power. So, I could see Michelle as a Slytherin. I say, as the…

You are my hero.

Michelle’s takedown reminds me of the time my Aunt asked for my cousin’s help in caring for another cousin. The second cousin has cerebral palsy and only functions on about the level of a three-year-old. When he has to be changed, he gets very angry, yells, scratches, and cries if you are not his mother. My aunt…

A friend of mine just recently had her first, and she sent me pics about a month after laughing over how judgmental the kid looks in pictures. This wee baby girl has constant resting angry face. It is the cutest, and I hope she carries it all her life.

I can’t hate Moxie Crimefighter. I tried, but oh god, it sounds like a pulp hero, and I love it.

I laugh every time my friends post newborn pics because the babies are always pointy-headed and bright red, and NONE of them look cute in those. I had one friend who owned up to it while sending out the pics. She was on baby #3 and did the sending herself because she was bored after the delivery.

This is the worst birthday I’m ever gonna have. And I’m counting the one when I was a kid when my asshole father called the day after and argued about the date of my birth with me.

I want to take this bang-grow-out moment to proudly declare mine are long enough to tuck behind my ears!!!!

13 years ago, when I was still leaving with my parents, we got a dog that I ended up training and bonding with super hard because I was between jobs. When I moved out a few years later, I left her with my folks because I felt it was mean to require her to learn an entirely new way to live (going from the country,…

Nah, no visible blood or body damage. Laugh away.

I don’t care. I laughed in so much delight and then admired her thighs. It was a great tweet.

You’re right. Had the genders been reversed, he should have sat there quietly as a joke about his sex life was made at him (He to her: I hear you are sodomized quite often) and simply done nothing but look uncomfortable and try to change the subject.

I’m sure Jabba the Fuck has a long list of reasons he will tell you even if you didn’t ask about how he’s “passionate” and not “angry.”

For background if anyone’s missed it: Patton Oswalt handed this fucking goblin his ass, Chris Evans tweeted support for Oswalt; the worst mansplainer at the bar on ladies’ night went on a multi-tweet rant that ended with him posting a video of him doing Muai Thai to prove he could beat up Evans. Insecure fuckboys…