I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS NAMED SAMMO HOG. I’m laughing so hard right now.

I love the announcers. They seem to forget they’re announcers and just start spouting out the same shit I’m yelling, and it makes it a very fun experience because they are so excited for EVERYONE.

There are a lot of women her same age who liked her ten years ago and still aspire to her look. She could totally run a lifestyle brand, and it would be way easier to find stuff with sequins on it if she’d go for it.

I love how froofy she’s got Chanel dressed and how exactly 0% motherhood has changed her. She is a delight.

It’s from Doctor Who. His first season, I think.

When I was nine (NINE), I had a guy threaten to kill himself if I wouldn’t be his girlfriend. That was the first in a long line of dudes going straight up creep on me as some form of “affection.” And yet, my refusal to put up with even vaguely sketchy men is considered being “mean.” I am as shocked as anyone I ever…

I am just sitting here wanting to throw something because she DID leave and called the cops after DAYS of torture, and still, he was out on bond. How the hell.

I can never decide if TV Land or French Mistake is funnier at what it does. And for depressing (because SPN) there’s always Croatoa.

I once had a guy jizz on my car because my co-worker pissed him off. My brand new, literally just bought the week before car. Which I was talking to my co-worker about when he walked in to be a douche.

That’s amazing. I worked as a receptionist a few places and got some goodies. Got yelled at by the oldest, crankiest person ever because their paper wasn’t on their porch when they got up at five in the morning. Was also blamed for newspaper machines eating change (it was a conspiracy, of course). My “favorite” was at…

I worked on a college campus and once had a mother call to complain that her daughter needed to move rooms because her roommates weren’t up to her level because they were (said in the same whisper as a slur) “farm people.”

All boys are Kevin. Makes perfect sense.

Wish I could have been there to provide groin pain to those assholes.

I had that same advice given to me by my mother when I was repeatedly bullied in junior high and high school. No amount of ignoring them got them to leave me alone. I ended up slugging a guy twice for his behavior, and even THAT didn’t stop him. The only time I could get them to shut up was to reveal something awful…

Tell no one except who you link it to so they can see you. I will take longer (I hope) for the trolls to find you. If you need your stats up, hit up friends to visit the pages a little. Best of luck to you.

James Randi is the goddamn best. He downed a whole box of homepathic cold pills during a Congressional hearing to prove they were useless.

I didn’t get the love, either. We’re just gray, gray, all the way down.

I demand Ashely write about hate mail and pokemon and creeping of facebook forever.

Wow! I never went so far as to ignore an injury. You win.

Oh, head lice time. I do not miss you. I got it in school most years in elementary school as did most of the school (small school). I got it again in high school, though I never figured out how. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents I had it, so I just got a fine-tooth comb and combed the little bastards out every…