I have a friend going through her second or third pyramid scheme. First it was make-up, then bags, and now she’s on body creams and scrubs. Just waiting for the day it’s supplements.

“product of the time” arguments (which is basically what Clint is arguing here) piss me off so much. You are of the CURRENT TIME because you are not dead. Learn some shit and stop talking like everyone’s drunken racist grandpa at Christmas.

May you be repeatedly hit with a pie for some mysterious reason.

I will take two of those centerpieces because I love that tacky thing. Fill it with velvet flowers!

I thought the cat was gonna match to Elijah Wood because giant eyes.

Your dad was being a huge dick. I’m sorry.

I was six when a nine-year-old relative raped me. Children can and do sexually assault other children. I did not consent to sexual contact, and it was forced upon me. By your rules of consent, I wasn’t raped because we were both kids.

I need everything in the second photo immediately. The last photo looks like Aunt Sandy got good and sloshed before filming her Easter episode, and now I want to get drunk in that room.

I wanna smack that headband of Joe Jonas’s head.

Mr. Naked got to run a grouptext while I was having surgery, and there is not enough booze in the world to thank him. I do not know how he didn’t yell at everyone to quit asking questions every 20 minutes.

Probably diving rods? Like those weighted rods my mom used to throw in the pool to keep us kids busy. I think swimmers use them to practice their entrance dives, or it could just be an endurance challenge.

Makes it easier to know who to throw eggs at.

It’s only a problem if you also have the scarf.

Oh, sweetheart, I hope you are doing better and have received real care that has helped.

Fantastic response, though I roll my eyes at the writer reminding us Holly was a Hooters waitress. Thanks, writer. Great way to really show you haven’t moved on.

Digital comics came in just as I moved across the country from my very loved comic shop. I have rarely stepped into a brick and mortar store since. It’s the best.

Oh, man, I worked at a comic shop with a good comics guy but some seriously shitty customers. I had one dude who asked what I read, looked horrified at some of the stuff I mentioned, and refused to talk to me if the comics dude was there. I got back at him one night when he came in with his girlfriend and informed her…

I don’t know how I got so lucky, but the Gamestop my husband goes to has super cool male employees. Like, saw me in my Iron man t-shirt and asked if I was Rescue cool. I will give them my money forever.

Everybody to my place for a “not ever having kids tied my tubes in a square knot” party! We’re drinking clear liquor!

Just looked up the recipe. It was 3/4ths to a cup of vodka. Chef’s choice. We probably stayed with 3/4ths because it was our first time making it, but that’s, what, six shots?