“I just don’t see any reason to be around you if we’re not going to be together.” — said after three years of NOT having been together and remaining in contact. He had some other gems in the conversation; it was all very girlfriend-zone bullshit.

I had a copy when I was in sixth or seventh grade that I think fell through a portal in time and space to land in our house. I started reading it, and my mother walked in. She seemed very uneasy. “What’s that book about?” Me, not really getting what incest was, replied, “Just some siblings locked in an attic.” She…

The thing is, if you can get them into a dedicated lane, they could go faster just like buses. They’re designed with speeds up to 40 mph.

Part of the problem in DC is that they bought up cars before they ever laid track, so the cars that are sitting there waiting to be used will be out of warranty by the time they go out, and that means repairs are going to be way more expensive right away rather than having a grace period of a warranty to keep the cost…

Oh my god, yes. Mr. Naked and I are constantly quoting that bit to one another. It love it extra hard because I grew up in the general area of where Clinton grew up, so campaigning in the area was up a notch. I never got to meet the guy, but I have begun to describe myself as a “smooth and fantastic hillbilly” because…

But it’s not about the tropes. Clare seems to have pretty clearly ripped off the Darkhunter rune or design or whatever that was proprietary to Kenyon, and the increasing use of Shadowhunters has—Kenyon alleges—lost her royalties because people confuse the Shadowhunters series with the Darkhunter series, not because…

The clerk in my very small, very Southern home town was aghast at the idea of giving teh gheys a marriage license. So distraught, in fact, she is not running for her position again. I have a family member who’s worked in the office for years, and she is gleefully running for the post and talking in the office about…

It’s partly a Southern thing. “I wasn’t mean. I didn’t raise my voice!” Which is 1) horseshit and 2) horseshit. But it’s the idea that you were genteel because you called them an abomination “politely” and probably with a smile on her fucking face so she wouldn’t wrinkle.

Hell is the Fuller House trailer, which is so bad, I forced Mr. Naked to watch it just to watch his face melt off.

Ooh! Get a beard trimmer! If you don’t shave often but need to have mostly-smooth legs, a beard trimmer will cut through that growth like nothing, and then you can either shave the rest off or just have soft, fuzzy legs. It takes WAY less time, and I will never full-shave my legs again.

Starbucks can make you a Peppermint Mocha year round. You know, if you’re definitely not addicted to them like me or something.

Hey, you’ve got this. It’s stressful and no fun right now, but at the reception, everyone’s gonna show you how happy your soon-to-be spouse was when you came down the aisle, and they’ll be cake, and it’ll be great.

I skipped my manicure on my wedding day because I was starving. Still felt 10/10 because lack of manicure is way more me than pretty nails. I also went barefoot and didn’t let anyone stick a tube up my butt to faux-cleanse me.

I’m just like Adobe, I’m rich, flashy, and screaming because I worked on the wrong layer.

That’d be perfect!

Nothing fuzzy. Worst blowjob ever to have to give. A nice cotton like Tahkai would look great AND be breathable.

I had the exact same thought followed by, “No. Not acrylic. Not even the soft ones. There will be so much crotch sweat.”

Having read P&P&Z, I can tell you, it sounds like the mash-up works about as well on screen as it did in the book. I wanted to really enjoy it, but there was not nearly enough ridiculous gore to make it work as a mash-up. I think I went seventy pages at one point with just Jane Austen, and that’s fine. Except I hadn’t…

Agreed. It’s a validating gesture meant to show that he’s sorry it happened while also trying to cheer her up a little. I think it’s really sweet, and it’s also my kind of humor, so I wonder how much of this is people who find that kind of humor tacky when it strikes me as the kind of humor that’s very comforting. It…

Dude uptop giving off serious vibes of my biological father, who had a similar set up with me and my siblings from him but not with his second group of kids. I’m sure it’ll all go smoothly.