Brütal Legend! I forgot about that one! You're like, "Hey, this is a fun little action game/great use of Jack Black," and then suddenly it's a bizarre RTS hybrid. And the definitive answer to the question, "What would the world depicted in ridiculous macho fantasy metal album covers actually be like?" And a licensed…

The color dynamic is fantastic, although the gameplay is often kind of lousy (at least until you realize there is absolutely no point to being stealthy and the only way to succeed is to go in guns blazing, even if you're delivering black market chocolate to an orphanage or something). The plot also veers between…

Persona.

And allows you to murder Ewoks. Never forget.

Hmm…what about Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (every platform but Wii)? Sometimes it feels a little gameplay-lite (except for the main character's awesome hoverboard), but it's ambitious, idiosyncratic, often evocative and characterized by some beautiful art direction. Gameplay-wise, it's part third-person action, part…

The Force Unleashed is basically worth playing for its physics engine and enemy AI (not tactical AI, just the sadistic pleasure of seeing two Stormtroopers desperately clinging onto each other as you hurl them into the abyss). Also, much like the Dark Forces series, using Force Grip to toss people around never once…

Why would you want to do a hell of crazy thing like that?

This was a lovely piece. This is what video games journalism is supposed to be like. Literally everyone else, take notes.

"To Far Away Times!" http://youtu.be/zOEYID9tc_0

Naw, man. The strangest fact about Easter Island is definitely the birdman cult. Or rongorongo.

The Trolley Graveyard is where dreams and trolleys go to die. I handle the soldiers alright, but the Bulwarks are horrible bullet sponges no matter what the threat level is.

Let me guess: the Trolley Graveyard?

Wait, seriously, Fenris does that? What a broody elf-douche. He deserves all the constant ribbing Varric and Isabela give him.

Your wife sounds kinda hardcore. You should rope her into sharing some thoughts. Like Teti's mom, only Snazzlenuts' wife.

Also (I'm sure you already know, but for others), they're circumventing all the issues that invariably arise with save imports and allowing one to play Inquisition with other backstories without having to play the first two by releasing an online story editor that creates a save file you can import to your console (or…

A Dalish elf lady it is, then. Worked for the first game, I guess. Or I could start a frothing Internet campaign/blame Jennifer Hepler/doxx David Gaider.

You missed out on Bethany! She feels like a Hawke. She's got moxie to spare, and is not inclined to go around moping and bitching all the goddamned time. Even if she was mad at me for not taking her into the Deep Roads (turns out that was the right choice).

Playing DA2 as anything other than a selfish joker who wants to spend all their time drinking with Varric (and Isabela) at the Hanged Man is like playing an FPS armed with a spoon. You might get a few chuckles out of it, but ultimately you're missing the point.

Zevran lays the flirt on pretty thick. Pretty much non-stop. Which is kind of hilarious given the circumstances in which you first encounter him. But I will say no more.

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