Peter: That may have been my mother. Was she a blond, about 5'6? She was a bit like that. Of course, now she's married to a Presbyterian minister.

My husband and I are currently sitting on the sofa clad in our underwear (I skipped church to post this), he read the article , looked down at our bare legs, and said, 'Clearly neither one of us wear pants. And I don't think we believe in them.' I guess that we'll be going to work naked, tomorrow. I'm surprisingly ok…

I'll stick it in before I mention my Creative Writing PhD. Then they'll take me seriously for sure. Driving to the moon is much more believable.

My car, a 1997 Volkswagon Golf (named 'Gladys') had that many miles on her when she died. That's kind of amazing, really.

My husband says: To the dog, that rat falls firmly into the uncanny valley. He's just being sensible.

I say that this is only funny to us because we have the concept of irony. We KNOW it's plastic. The dog doesn't. He's actually showing a great deal of intelligence here. reading the visual cues, rejecting the data that…

Human body, horse hooves. But, seriously, horse penises can kill you. Ruptured cervix and all that. You-kebab. Catherine the Great was supposed to use a gourd with a hole in it (she didn't actually commit beastiality, but this is what her detractors said to explain her lack of death) as a barrier to keep her from…

Two questions (that I am furiously googling):
1) What do they look like as butterflies?
2) Do they eat meat, post-pupa?

Carnivorous caterpillars are one thing; butterflies of Death would be another matter. Like something from a Kim Newman book.

The doctor confused her with a platypus. They have milk-patches that are essentially modified sweat-glands. Hey, the good news is that if she were a platypus she could bring the baby to the gym.

My husband says that he was the older brother on Malcolm in the Middle. I wouldn't know.

I live in the UK. You can buy about ten varieties of this in any grocery store. For under a pound. My husband's favorites are pulled-pork and apple, and tesco, extra large. I have never, and will never, put one in my mouth.

'Their inner materials were under considerable strain', so they sing. They're artists, basically.

My husband read that this supposedly happened in Florida, my home state. He looked at me searchingly, then asked (with rankled agitation in his voice), 'Why don't YOU have three boobs?'

I go into what I think of as 'man stance' when I'm on an international flight. Basically, I position my knees directly underneath my side of the arm rests (I never go over - I'm very careful about that) and I sit with my arms positioned directly under my shoulders, headphones in (even if they aren't plugged into…

Chastity is to have the body in the soul's keeping. - Paracelsus. He got a lot of guff for being an alchemist man-slut back in the day, and he rebuffed it with the idea that chastity is fucking who you want, when you want, so long as you actually want it.

If my nipples show, they show. I've had less catcalling trouble from visible nipples than I ever did from padded bras. If I'm wearing a top made out of uncomfortable (itchy) fabric then I will put a bandaid over them to keep them from getting chaffed. It works :-)

I know no one will see this since I'm still in the gray, but that's all the more reason to be shamelessly open! About a year ago I developed a really awful rash on my breasts from wearing a sports bra. Well, seven sports bras in daily succession. So, since I'm not especially well-endowed breast-wise I decided to go…

I'm pro-choice, just to be clear. Why is it ok to talk about rape in sitcoms, but abortion is 'too serious'? It's ok to hurt women, but not save them, and that's not good.

Talking about it in a light context normalizes it, makes it acceptable. Hey, it worked for rape!

One of the best things about living in the UK is that no one *EVER* tells me to smile. People here expect you to look miserable. My husband and I refer to the default lemony expression as 'Swindonface'. Oh, of course I still get cat-called, but it's usually comments about my legs and supposed propensity for casual sex…

I think that pets are a great way to teach kids about anatomy - if their parents freak out about an extra bit of plastic on a doll. My dog was neutered relatively late (he was two) and so he kept most of his urges. My otherwise ridiculously prudish mother referred to his erection as his 'lipstick'. This led, somehow,…