This guy is vaguely appalled.

levels of gray thirst:

My guess is that you are willing to play dumb just to quench your starving need for attention (or "thirst"), but I'll indulge and give you this:

nope it means "overreaching," sorta like this comment

She kinda was, though.

This shit dead. Man am I parched.

It is a catch-all for behaviors that Jezebel doesn't like but can't necessarily be called sexist or racist.

I like how "thirst" just represents whatever the hell you don't like about people.

A lot of this was funny, some of it was very true (hello number 60) but jesus it's so cynical and negative that I actually feel more tired having read it - it's like a Burn Book straight out of Mean Girls. 2014 was pretty fucking shit for reasons bigger than Blake Lively and I could use a Top 100 of whatever the…

#101: people who try to "educate" you on a specific topic. It's not so much about education, or helping somebody understanding a certain topic, but about making that person feel stupid while at the same time inflating their own ego.

Amy Pascal is a straight-up hero.

Well, you get what you pay for.

Saban's ego won't allow this to continue to be true. Look for Alabama's board of trustees to give him a "merit raise" any second now ...

<Michigan AD on phone call>
Michigan AD: "Yea, I'm married, does it matter? You'd do that for me? Really? I'd like that."
<Wife enters, agitated>
Wife: "Who are you talking to?"
Michigan AD: "It's Jim, from San Fran."
Wife: "Jim from San Fran at 3 in the morning <grabs phone>...who is this?"
Michigan AD: "It's Jim, from San…

I eagerly await reports of the first drunk 3-AM-on-a-Saturday text exchanges between the two following the break-up.

SF: I miss u bae
Harbaugh: Michigan treats me better than u
SF: MICHAGUN WONT DO THE THING YOU LIKE
Harbaugh: Please don't say it
SF: BUTTHOLE

And to you! Hopefully 2015 will beat the shit out of 2014. That's a low hurdle.

None of that is in this article. And TRANSLATE? You must be joking, I'm a busy man.

Like blitzers through the A-gap, so are the days of our lives...

we still think Brennan Clay should chuck his phone into the nearest lake.