Noooooooo what a terrible person! That’s cold-blooded! (no pun intended for the second story....)

I definitely went through this in my 20s and the weight that came off my chest when I finally decided to leave for good was astounding. Then when I left, all my friends were like “OMG good - he was terrible!” Ok - say something then!

Ewwwwww I just shuddered.

LOL, there have been many instances in my life that feel like an episode of Jackass. I’m trying to be better! :D

I know this is a serious topic, but I LOLed at your last sentence. :D

LOLOLOL. 

Owieeeee. As a person sitting here reading this with a plate and three additional screws in their ankle, I felt that on a spiritual level. 

Yikes - glad it hadn’t gone through an artery! Just FYI for any future stab wounds: If you impale yourself with anything, do not remove on your own because it could be holding a vein or artery closed that needs to stay closed! Wrap gauze around it to stabilize, and get to the ER. 

LMAO that episode is exactly what childhood was - my injury was basically Wendell, except my legs went through the springs and my arm slammed the frame.

100% of us who know what car lighters are burned themselves on them, LOL.

When I was about 10, I fell through the springs of a trampoline and broke my arm on the metal frame as I crashed down. That was dumb. However, even dumber was two weeks later I am rollerblading with that broken arm and trip over a pinecone. As I’m falling, I’m worried about falling on the arm with the cast on, so I…

Ooooh that face wash sounds awesome....Goin’ to Google...

Same here - cyclist and I will kick the shit outta your quarter panel if you run up on me in a bike lane or across the hike/bike trail. I’m white and a woman though, so I’m sure Kombat Karen would just flip me the bird like everyone else. Glad she’s facing charges. 

We live in the country north of Austin - scorpions, mice, toads, all manner of grassland critter has made it into our house at one point or another. I never have issues with them (except scorpions - squish ALL scorpions!) as long as they don’t touch my food or poop on my counters.

Sounds like it could have been a Nutria! They’re an invasive rodent that look like super giant rats the size of beavers. They got here via foreign ships, so that makes sense: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coypu

OMG THE MOUSE FACE. I am at once horrified and cackling. That’s awful!

Completely unrelated, but Cooper’s is soooooo goooooooood. 

Yesssss Houston! Black rodeo and horsemanship is, of course, a big deal in Texas and this was so awesome to see them come out. And to answer someone else’s question, yes, Houston’s protests have been primarily peaceful. Art Acevedo is their police chief and he is pretty universally liked and respected, as far as…

RACIST EYEBROWS LMAOOOOOOOO, I am cackling! 

This is a supremely dumb take.