I have tried to watch a couple of those videos from time to time. They would have been vastly improved as narrated by the Chef. (Or Beaker, which is what the kid sounds like anyway half the time.)

Disney Channel is a children's network. And mornings are for really little kids. It would have to be a Muppet Babies type thing for it to be appropriate, I think.

I don't particularly see why, given that they went through so much trouble to get rid of them in the first place.

…making the day's material actually educationally relevant to his class despite his best efforts. Good one, American school system!

I am very surprised that CPAC would be that stupid. Milo's career is trolling people by making outré statements for the hell of it. This is how he describes himself, repeatedly and openly. I don't know why they decided to make the assumption that he had only done so in a way narrowly targeted to some certain…

Or Macaulay Culkin in the next ten years.

That is awesome. I don't know who would have the balls to make it, though. I wish Andy Kaufman were still around; he'd spend seven hard years amassing enough directorial training to do both films completely straight.

"A stew in every pot."

Herman Cain should cater. Mike Huckabee must not be let anywhere near that shit.

In Soviet Russian Designated Price is Right, we play only Pinko. Easy to win; just keep chip to far left. Best prize 50,000 rubles, not bad. But you only receive in form of goat unless you know someone in Party.

I saw a CSI-type police procedural about ten years ago—I think it was Cold Case—where SPOILERS FOR LAMEASS FUCKING COLD CASE one Deaf kid murdered another for getting a cochlear. I think the studly BMOC at the Deaf school falls for the cute community service girl who's there to teach him piano, and when it turns out…

Fuck, then maybe it's just character schtick he's learned from all his years on the show. I think I heard somewhere that this season of The Bachelor has a "spoiled dumb rich girl" contestant who employs her former childhood nanny as adult household help, but who refers to her as "my nanny" instead of doing what a real…

Braff, or J.D.? I get the feeling Braff is just basically what J.D. would be like in real life, which is to say the same but there's nothing funny about it when it's reality. Although Faison seems to like him. (Their relationship, also, is basically nonfiction.)

She is, and none too better held up while she was with us, which is what I was really thinking of. You made me feel bad now. I deserve it.

I don't remember that one. The deal is that they go around Deaf Dad and get Hearing Mom's permission for the kid to get his cochlear, right? I do think that was probably impermissible according to medical ethics and legality, but I would not be surprised if those kinds of shenanigans were indeed common procedure.…

If he was on The Bachelor, I'm a little surprised by that. Very few people who are "famous" from reality shows themselves are actually at all wealthy. (Few TV or movie actors are either, of course, but those who aren't typically never get the moment of fame to do anything like the TV talk show rounds.)

That is not really alt-right per se. But, as it happens, Yodely Guy is canton captain of his local Swiss People's Party affiliate. So, yeah, the game does get to stay.

This would not seem to be the best candidate, either. The 70s-style dedicated celebrity schmoozing (and, by the looks of it sometimes, boozing) shows seem to me to hold the most potential. And perhaps the fun with Jeopardy is to see how stupid your favorite stars are in real life (though I don't think there is much…

I vote Lisa Robin Kelly. Beat that, Mr. Contrarian.

You laugh, but I have long wished that Topher and Laura would fall in love in real life, elope to Mexico, and raise their children there (or somewhere else with Spanish naming traditions). La familia Grace Prepon, happily ever after.