Kids literally don't have to even shift their butt weight on the couch to access a wonderland of thousands of times as much porn as had ever been made by our time; and if they do find that special someone, there's always mobile sex on a line they have all to themselves anywhere they go. They have all this from the…

Those virgin jokes indeed! Damn near every five minutes someone, including his own baby sister, is ripping on this young schoolboy for the disgrace of being a virgin. Along with the jaw-droppingly risque Jungle 2 Jungle (one of their biggest go-to movie-day favorites) and the edgier Canadian imports it was still…

I wouldn't quite echo that sentiment myself; but I would recall how confused I was when, faced with what the script was clearly presenting to me as the old crone witch (Midler), the roly-poly goofy witch (Najimy), and the ditzy young, sexy witch (Parker), the last was actually easily the third of the three I would…

Did they even have a choice in the matter? I know they do with Seventh Inning Stretches (of course) but not with first pitches (MLB determines those; the local team can suggest but MLB takes real, active control of the decision-making process). I would guess anthems are, if anything, even more inclined to be like…

If any kidnappers' van provided me with the SpiritAir experience, I'd use my turn on the ransom phone call to urge my loved ones not to pay those cheap bastards shit.

Where was the part where screen Meth followed a certain calendar? Was it in the review, or something you just heard about the project elsewhere?

Did he really brag? Because that's the $64 question in my book. Not knowing something is A-OK by me—especially if it's something as inconsequential as the cultural details I happen to deem important. But being actually, actively proud of being ignorant of something—anything; don't care if it's what the new Bieber…

I think it must be because the top three are so well known for being the youngest, at least among pop-culture nerds like the A.V. Club audience, that Davidson's accomplishment becomes a fact to remark on—youngest except for, of course, them. It's like if an article informed you that such and such a team (I'm assuming…

The zombifying wasp (Fodor and Piattelli-Palmarini, pp. 89-90)

I am sure the Travel Halo is functionally a wonderful device for those who have trouble sleeping upright. But a solution for those who "hate the doofy look" of anything it most certainly is not.

Was all really forgiven of LeBron the instant he said he was coming back? Or did it take a little time? Or had folks already started to forgive a bit beforehand? I've always wondered.

That's exactly why he was such a good selection for the honor! This whole 108 years has been nothing but one big Groundhog Day, only with aging, war, and death proceeding unabated.

PETE WENTZ IS THE GREATEST BLACK POP-PUNK BASSIST EVER TO MARRY ASHLEE SIMPSON

Another fun fact: Pete Wentz is a huge Cubs fan who performs the national anthem at Wrigley Field; whereas George Wendt, who I keep thinking people are talking about when I hear his name, is one of three known White Sox fans, along with Obama and Mayor Daley.

When I was a little boy, I used to wonder why producers didn't get the idea to show me what I (and, I trusted, every other young male out there) wanted most to see on screen: Balls to the wall on both the political nerdery and the sex. Like, show Maria Theresa chewing over the tactical machinations of Lower Silesia,…

I don't fuck with rollerballs in general. Ballpoint ink—thick, water-insoluble, quick-curing (oil-based solutions don't "dry")—along with its equally ingenious application mechanism, was one of the greatest inventions in human history, apologies to Sister Aloysius Beauvier. I really can't see why anyone would use a…

Why on earth would all writers be self-appointed experts on pens and stationery? (Albeit not enough to know how to spell the word.) Are all Teamsters self-appointed experts on harnesses and oat hoppers? How old is Mr. Vishnevetsky?

I remember seeing clips from a movie some years back where Sam Worthington was playing a disabled American veteran of some sort. And I had absolutely no idea he was trying to play an American until I read it. I'd say it was the worst accent I'd heard since Mary Poppins, but that's not quite it. You would never guess…

To, but not with. Believe me.

Doesn't sound like Mel Brooks is aboard. So I ain't in.