Elisabeth Moss: My Favorite Scientologist

And wakes up with her lipstick still applied perfectly. Uh-huh.

taylor and karlie but like duh

you know if i didn't know any better, I'd guess that Kim, in fact, ENJOYS falling asleep with her makeup on.

I'm digging your blue hat too, Yoko.

Those eyelashes are ridic. Truly at some point she will look like Snuffleufagus.

I want to see a 'The Bachelor Through The Years' special. Because when this show started, everyone looked like fairly average people.

Absolutely, because there were 3 things I would not compromise on: my photographer (she was hella expensive but worth every penny), food and open bar. The latter two were more about my guests of course. I got them mini-beef wellingtons among other things and a mimosa bar for cocktails up in a Guinness bar for our…

Uh, I'd have been snatching off my earrings fo sho, and I don't think anyone would blame you! What a snot! Not one single person thought to grab her and take her off stage?

The worst thing that happened at my sisters was that my parents both walked her down the aisle and despite the first row on the left being saved for my mom and dad and family, his entire family took up the first FOUR rows (we're talking like second cousins and their kids, etc) and my mom and dad sort of had to sit…

oooh! Pick me! A (probably not definitive) list of things my (now ex for obvious reasons) mother in law did before our wedding:

Oh my god no that's not vain at all that's awful. My dad told my best friend she looked pretty on our way to winter formal in high school and never said anything to me and I'm still pissed hahaha. So...yeah.

It actually ended up working out for the best but...

My ex MiL decided that our low-key wedding just "wouldn't do." She went as far as to print her own set of invitations to the wedding and send them to people we didn't invite...about 50 of them. She went to the florist behind our backs and changed the types and colors of the flowers (which we discovered by accident…

Oh I also forgot:

My mother-in-law, when my husband's friends told her that she looked pretty, said, "I think I look pretty good for my age. [they nod in agreement] Then how come none of you wanted to fuck me when you were in high school?"

The best man sounds like the title fit.

I feel bad about this, but I hate Whitney's voice so much. It makes me want to clap my hands over my ears and go LALALALALA.

Totally, just cringing the whole time.

It gave me so much secondhand embarrassment, but the roosters made it