As a long-term car enthusiast and student of automotive systems, a 3x Subaru owner, a 1x Wrangler owner, a tirerack aficionado, etc....

Pulley just Plane made a Wheel bad decision. He knew he should Lever alone, but instead he drove a Wedge between himself and his teammates. Doesn’t even sound like he got to Screw.

similar thing happened to Kendrys Morales... he hit a walk-off, jumped on home plate and broke his leg

Trump: “I’m going all-in because I’ve got 5 aces, not because I’m bluffing! Even if I were bluffing, which I’m not, you should fold because I never bluff. Except when I do. Which is not now. NO BLUFF!!!!! 5 ACES!!!! NO JOKERS!!! REAL ACES!!! IN MY HAND!!!!!!”

Aw, I like Gustavo... I think we have one of his books and I watched a speech he gave on tacos once.

Rolling On/Rolling Off the Floor Laughing

Intermodal pun of the day!

Somebody forgot to raise the bridges back a foot for after Bridgeheight Saving Time ended.

Handbags at Dawn will settle it

I used to do this too. I’m kind of sad that they fixed their search algorithm to account for misspellings now. #goodolddaysoftheinternet

Babies are expensive. You might want to replace...

Wow, what a badass. Thank you for this introduction to a true inspiration, my daughter is deaf and I want to be able to share the stories of women like this with her as she gets older. Kitty O’Neil has been added to the list. 

Lol I wish. I’m sure their office is much less uptight than my law office. Also, I prefer the lime scooters over bird. Much higher quality.

I’m with you on traffic congestion.

She is a terrible, no good, very bad candidate, and I fully believe if democrats had put any other reasonably competent person in the 2016 election, Trump would not be president.

“NOUN” on a T-shirt with a permanent marker

It’s that McConnell and Ryan don’t give a shit about dead Jews

You would know if you had called. 

It’s just your well-caffeinated success faeries having a dance at their summer cottage in your chest. Double the dosage and check it again in 6 weeks.

Don't forget the venerable Opti-Grab.