This year’s Easter Bunny be like..........................................^

Or your feet are fatter and more swollen, your probably dying slowly.

I was looking for showtimes at theatres near me, and there’s a field to type in your location, one for the date, and one that says “Your Name”. I was like, why does it want my na— oh.

I once worked with a very proper, diminutive lady in an older department store. Every day she worked, you could count on her taking a 15 minute nap on a ratty old sofa on the breakroom with a cloth napkin over her face. At exactly 15 minutes, she would sit back up, don her shoes and glasses and clock back in. Amazing…

Thank goodness you’re here to tell me what I should should think is more important. Don’t know what I’d ever do without you.

We all have nap rooms at work. Theyre called bathroom stalls.

No but my swearing has really intensified since January. People used to find my colorful language endearing but not so much anymore. 

Susan B. Anthony? I’ve heard of her!

Oh you KNOW that we will be dealing with so many cases of Marlena/Salem Stalter level amnesia. Fall down the WH stairs? Amnesia. Kidnapped by Steve Bannon and taken to his island dungeon laboratory? Amnesia. Son crashed a motorcycle through a stained class window to stop a wedding? Amnesia. Eat too much shrimp?…

Wait a second. Stop the presses. Hold your horses. Back it up. Betsy DeVos’ fucking brother is the founder of Blackwater? Did they grow up above the Hellmouth in Sunnydale?

My nine-year-old randomly asked about this movie the other day. I told him they canceled it, but it might show up on Netflix in a year or so (when I won’t have to endure it). I got out of the Minions and Angry Birds movies the same way.

But dodging taxes is what this country was founded on!

yeah i read a pretty scathing take down of autism speaks awhile ago. essentially the argument was that autism speaks actually does anything but - it doesnt allow the very voices it pretends to champion have any say, so basically it should be ‘people without autism speak for those with autism without letting those with…

Thanks for saying that about Autism Speaks. the way people view autism is really skewed to how it actually is, and organizations like autism speaks take away attention to actual autistic people’s opinions by centering the narratives around caregivers and parents of autistic people.

Just finished “American Gods” and I agree 100%, It’s weird. Fascinating read tho... have you read Neverwhere? It was my first Neil Gaiman novel and I think it’s still my fave.

Last week I found out I was being laid off.

I got my dream job, and I’m moving to Washington, D.C.!!!!!!

It seems like everyone around me me is posting Kdrama/ kpop gifs and I feeling left out of a movement.

I give blood every time my building has a blood drive. The thing that sucks the most is that test where they prick my finger.

But getting blood drawn is a piece of cake. In fact, I think it’s kinda cool watching the vials fill up.