We’re actually quite proud of those restrictions! You should’ve seen California before we had extremely restrictive laws about cars. Schools had smog days.

This guy is the centrist, sane candidate they got from pulling their shit together. He thinks drivers licenses might maybe have a good reason to exist, for instance. He was even a governor!

I feel irrationally proud of myself for that horrible joke. Have a star, R. damascena!

Independent is technically not third party. It is aparty, not a party.

The stage is a hell of a drug, pain-wise.

I have been wine tasting in Temecula. And it’s fun! But it is also not exactly…the classy kind of wine tasting experience, as such.

I would LOVE a dollar coin, just because of vending machines and buses. Down with trying to get machines to accept inevitably disgusting and ragged ones!

Making Money, Going Postal, Monstrous Regiment, and the yellow-and-black one could be either Small Gods or Hogfather. That is to say, I wouldn’t worry about being embarrassed.

Eh, I’m am a Millenial who can never remember how many cups are in a gallon either.

Yep, the older editions. There’re newer editions with a different spine, just to make things more difficult. However, he has fallen to the bane of non-matching series spines with Terry Pratchett, which was probably unavoidable.

Seriously, the fuck is up with pennies? Like…why? Is there a powerful zinc lobby or something? Just sheer stubbornness and inertia?

But all the kittens are here!

As a Californian, can confirm.

Cats that chase their tails > dogs that chase their tails.

And you know they’re not in San Francisco because there isn’t a compost bin.

Yeah, with blackjack you’re just playing against the dealer, so it doesn’t matter what you do with your face muscles. And I don’t have any stocks either. I want some, though!

This is nowhere related to the meat of your content, but probably you meant poker at the end there.

Biden seems like the kind of guy who is sad that casinos don’t have “real” coin slot machines anymore. Biden! Go downtown!

Heck, I got more where that came from (and it is from a comedy short, yes):

DNA is just a plot by the Chinese to sell agar.