No one has noticed that the weather lady is totally throwing up gang symbols. #WestSideLowFronts

There should be a special state law that says if you make a delivery guy deliver without tipping him in the middle of a storm, he should legally be able to throw you down the stairs. The higher up you live, the more steps he gets to use.

Rolled a natural 1 on her Sneak

Charlie Sheen’s sloppy seconds? I’ll take my chances with this needle I found in a gutter.

Like a Zen koan, I ponder of the paradox of how anyone could ever tell if Gronkowski had a concussion.

Only a good guy with a remote can stop a bad guy with a remote.

From the FAQ:

I call it “two dollars to daydream.” I know I’m not going to win, but I’ll buy a ticket then drive home thinking about all the fun ways I can spend that money. For me, that daydream is worth the $2.

Check your human privilege. #UrsineLivesMatter

Hahaha, this must be embarrassing for you.

This is a review written by a bear. A bear.

You kind of ruin the comedy when you analyze it like this.

Sell your computer.

All I see is...

Pandora, other than the myriad “Let me see your box” jokes, would be an ok name otherwise.

So...

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

Again, Welker was out performed by someone younger.