Bro, I am just going to be honest, as I have read your reviews from the start.....you REALLY suck at your chosen profession. Enjoy your snarky little in jokes and decidedly self indulgent ability to shit on everything. You remind me of a “cool kid” in high school and a weirdly toxic SW fan in equal measure. Why even…

Plus he has found a great acting niche as the face of “banality of evil”

Oh gross you just reminded me of Deborah Ann Woll’s character in True Blood where what you just described happens to her. What a horrible show I watched for some goddamn reason. 

“We’d also like to know what ’N Sync is doing.”

What do they (the non-Danny Masterson cast members) really have to answer for? Doing and saying stupid immature things ~25 years ago? Some of the things they said are definitely gross, but times have changed for the better, and who didn’t say/do stupid things when they were young. If I think back to some of the things…

Was there? Even in the old days they were snarky about pretty much everything. They were just better at it, and they had more cool kid cred because the coverage of everything else was fucking great.

Speaking of 2000s-era grossness:

Not to excuse it, but this was just every show, and not just in that time period.  On set accountability is practically new, it’s why you see guys like Jeff Garlin being genuinely shocked when he gets kicked off a show for stuff he thought was harmless for decades (obviously it wasn’t).

I don’t think Martin Short is that funny, but I would never waste anyone’s time lambasting him. I certainly wouldn’t publicly do so in long form if I was a writer for a reasonably well known media company, even if I was completely out of ideas for what to write about. Not only would it be boring and unnecessary, it’s…

“Okay, Sean, we’re going to run that again, but, uh, this time could you not slap Galadriel?”

I mean, Shaggy Dog is what convinced Disney he was insurable again and could be trusted, then Kiss Kiss Bang Bang got him all kinds of praise and accolades, even if the movie flopped. Ironman wasn’t just dropped in his lap. There was some build up to it.

I know people love a prison rape joke, but just to bring the mood down a little, I’ll say that as a victim of child sex abuse, I never for a second wished rape on my abuser. Death, absolutely. Frequently and fervently, in fact. But I don’t wish rape on anybody, and would rather hear that Danny Masterston spent the…

Christopher Lee would have been great if they’d been making the films in the late 80's. By the time they were he was already in his late 70's. It just wasn’t an option.

Anthony Hopkins might have made a good Gandalf, but otherwise they got the casting spot on, as they did with most roles in the Trilogy. Maybe they…

Closest to 100 without going over.

He’s the poster child for failing upwards.

Didn’t Tracy Morgan warn Jimmy Fallon once that if he pulled any shit during his performance thst he’d fuck him up so he didn’t? Which means all that fucking around with other people was him deliberately being a self-aggrandising asshole?

Could anyone have predicted that Jimmy Fucking Fallon would somehow host the Tonight Show for [check notes] almost ten years!? He’s such an insufferable hack, who is watching him?

I think if you die at 99 your death certificate should say “He was 99!”

“with Chris Rock making jokes about how much he wants a cold brew”

Sometimes I will start reading an article on this site and not pay attention to who wrote it, and then about halfway through, at some painfully unfunny attempt at humor I’ll go “Oh I bet this is Barsanti” and scroll up to find my suspicion confirmed.