1. Tried to see how quickly an oven coil heats once you turn it on. Answer: immediately.

I'm not embarrassed by the actual first time—date rape!—but I was hideously embarrassed because we weren't even in high school yet, and instead of the shame he should have felt, he bragged about it to every one of our friends. I was worried that people would think I was a slut. Water under the bridge now, at least.

That quote is victim-blaming. I have already inter-library loaned his book, so I will read it, because I am interested in how he actually phrases what you describe as his message. (I obviously have a lot of personal investment in DV issues, and am trying to read as widely as possible about it. Not start fights.)

I just read that article, and this is one of the most fucked up things I have read:

Can't you go for a TPO now? In IL, this is all free—though time-consuming. It seems like you have a history of contacting police, so the first step would be getting copies of your police reports. I would seriously recommend that. (Been there, done that, just not with a child.) Good luck and all the hugs.

In Cook County a violation is a mandatory 24 hours in jail, which is just enough time to think up a murder plan. (It can be longer—up to a year—but if his family was connected, I doubt he would've served that amount of time.)

I wish I didn't know this, but I do. It allows you to file additional police reports should the Respondent violate the order. In Cook County, any violation means a mandatory 24 hours in jail, and possible up to a year for any violation. But it's a piece of paper, and mine took me months to get. (I got my Emergency…

I don't think it's redirecting the conversation so much as it is white people coming forward with stories that support the larger reality—which is that white people are treated differently—better—than POC who are caught committing the same crimes. I read these as evidence supporting the larger, more important idea…

It's actually the Anti-Cruelty Society, Grand Avenue, Chicago. I still cannot believe I am not married to either a shelter cat or a fireman. WTF, universe??

Relocated from

I used to walk past an ASPCA on my commute, which was right around the corner from a fire station. Let me just say: big burly firemen rolling around on the floor with shelter cats = true love. For all the animals involved.

Please do! Love, an insomniac

Thank you—and so glad you're out, too. I've really tried to turn this into something positive; I just gave a speech for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October!) and made it through without sobbing, which is not something I could have done a year or two ago. What happened to me was not just about me, and reminding…

Just as an FYI—in case you don't already know, sorry if you do—it takes the average abused partner 6 or 7 times to leave their abuser for good. So be proud that you have stayed out! And yay to being happier. It does get even better :)

Cutting is a stop-gap coping mechanism, and you need a more long-term, healthy one. (The good news is that you are at least trying to cope.)

Congratulations! You do not need him as much as you think you do right now. You do not need him at all.

Thank you for this. And Happy Domestic Violence Awareness Month! (From a survivor.)

My doctor used to let me step on the scale facing away from it. That way she could record my ups and downs, and I didn't have to see how 'fat' I was at 90 pounds.

I have stomach issues which occasionally get very bad—this is only my second day in about a month of not throwing up everything I put in my mouth, plus ulcer blood. So I recommend a healthy juice cleanse of Sprite and Xanax. The Sprite alone seems to work'; the Xanax is just to deal with how mad I am I can't eat an…

I have stomach issues which occasionally get very bad—this is only my second day in about a month of not throwing up everything I put in my mouth, plus ulcer blood. So I recommend a healthy juice cleanse of Sprite and Xanax. The Sprite alone seems to work'; the Xanax is just to deal with how mad I am I can't eat an…